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Career Wisdom

As you progress in your career you pick up morsels of wisdom. Recently I found a post by a former journalist and leader that I enjoyed reading.  Here are few “bite-size” morsels to help you navigate your career.

Harvey Mackay is a self-made business person and wise mentor sharing his experience.

For example, he was quoted, “Don’t just mark time; use time to make your mark.” I liken Harvey’s wisdom to that of James Clear’s career advice.  Clear is known for his best-selling book, “Atomic Habits” and routinely speaks at Fortune 500 gatherings and keynotes.

The times and mode of communication have changed. James’ profile on LinkedIn has thousands of followers. Harvey was syndicated in national newspapers for years. However, the common sense habits and “grit” needed to succeed, then and now, are the same.

Another bit of “Harvey wisdom,” reads like something out of Clear’s current playbook. “Technology should improve your life, not become your life.”  Compared to James Clear’s recent quote:

 “Simple ways to have a peaceful moment:

-Close your eyes and just breathe for two minutes.

-Leave your phone in another room for an hour…”

So, my point is wisdom comes in all forms and changes slightly over time. But really, your experiences shape the person you want to be and will become. Kindness, consistency, and putting the work in will result in rewards.  Rewards of goals achieved, dreams realized, and what success looks like for you.

Life is full of mishaps, fun, and opportunities. Be ready for what comes your way. As Harvey stated, “How people play the game shows something of their character. How they lose shows all of it.”  Food for thought…

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It’s Not You

After reading Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s new book, “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People,” I had to share. This book is life affirming if you need to understand why “bad things” happen to you and motivators of narcissists. Dr. Durvasula also provides extensive strategies for healing and dealing with these highly manipulative and vengeful people.

Who Are They? 

We don’t know why people act the way they do to hurt others. It’s a diagnosed personality disorder that is finally getting the attention it needs. The definition of a narcissistic goes beyond just wanting their way all the time or being powerful.  It’s about people you have in your life, that abuse and shift blame by gaslighting, manipulating, and lying without remorse.

“Nothing is ever their responsibility or their fault because for a narcissistic person to take responsibility or accept blame means having to accept that they are accountable and imperfect.”

There are varying levels of abusive behaviors outlined, some classified as “malignant narcissists.”

They malign people publicly, or harm their reputations. They are highly manipulative, transactional, and judge everyone based on how useful they are – whether for power, profits, pleasure, or validation. In the simplest framing, the malignant narcissist is a bully, mean and menacing…”

You will recognize the examples used in your own family or workplace relationships. You will also understand how often these behaviors happen and go unchecked in society. The focus is never really on the narcissistic, but more on the actions of the victims being abused.  Almost as if the victim has something wrong with them, despite the facts not adding up from narcissist’s manipulated account.

How Does It Happen?

If you are in an abusive relationship, the obvious answer is to leave. But it’s not always that simple. Dr. Durvasula provides examples where it’s just not possible to leave a job, marriage or other important relationship despite abuse. The victim talks themselves out of it, thinks THEY are the reason that these “bad things” are happening.

Victims routinely believe the manufactured and false narratives about what is taking place due to other silent and compliant people.  It boils down to trust. When those closest to you break that trust and know what’s really going on but do nothing, that’s your truth.

“In other words, narcissistic people make you feel small so they can feel safe.” 

These narcissists get something from their victims while “love bombing,” charming them, and prioritizing the relationship.  When the victim realizes what is actually going on and sets boundaries and reveals the truth, all hell breaks loose.  

“Hell, really hath no fury like a narcissist scorned. Their vindictive behavior may range from spreading damaging workplace gossip” to other more harmful and life threating outcomes.

Be warned, that stalking and public humiliation of their victims is quite commonplace for these individuals. Their tactics escalate when their victims pull away or start understanding the truth about past events. 

How to Protect Yourself 

There are many strategies discussed in the book to combat DARVO, or the common methods narcissists use.  (That’s a very useful chapter.) You should also try to distance yourself spiritually or physically from your abuser(s.) If you must stay in a relationship for work or family reasons, sound strategies are provided. These will help you heal and learn to deal with these negative people. As the author states, you will be better informed the next time you come across these individuals. And you most definitely will!

The healing that takes place when you know you’re not the crazy one is incredible. Narcissist behaviors happen daily to so many of us, but now you have a voice…an authentic voice.

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Strategies for Work

 

As we navigate work, the landscape of career development continues to evolve at a rapid pace. With technological advancements, shifting job markets, and the rise of remote work, professionals must be more strategic and adaptable than ever. Here are key strategies and habits to effectively navigate your career goals this year.

Lifelong Learning

The importance of continuous learning cannot be overstated. With industries rapidly changing, staying updated with the latest skills and knowledge is crucial. Enroll in online courses, attend workshops, and pursue certifications relevant to your field. Lifelong learning not only keeps you competitive but also opens up new opportunities for career advancement.

Technology is Vital

Technology is a driving force in the modern workplace. Familiarize yourself with digital tools and platforms that can enhance your productivity and efficiency. From project management software to data analysis tools, being tech-savvy can give you a significant edge.

Additionally, building a strong online presence through LinkedIn and other professional networks can help you connect with industry leaders and potential employers.

Adapt to Hybrid Work

The shift to remote and hybrid work models is here to stay. Develop strong self-discipline, time management, and communication skills to thrive in these environments.

Create a dedicated workspace and establish a routine that fosters productivity. Being adaptable and comfortable with virtual collaboration tools is essential for success in a remote or hybrid setup.

Network

Networking remains a critical component of career development. Attend industry conferences, join professional associations, and participate in online forums. Networking helps you stay informed about industry trends, gain insights from peers, and discover job opportunities. Building a diverse professional network can provide support and guidance throughout your career journey.

Set Clear Goals

Define your career goals with clarity. Whether aiming for a promotion or starting your own business, setting specific measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals is essential. Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps and track your progress regularly.

Seek Coaching

Mentors and career coaches can provide valuable guidance and support. They can help you navigate challenges, identify strengths and weaknesses, and develop a clear career path. Don’t hesitate to seek advice from experienced professionals who can offer insights based on their own career journeys.

Navigating career goals requires an adaptive mindset. By embracing lifelong learning, leveraging technology, networking actively, setting clear goals, and seeking mentorship, you can succeed at a new job. Change will enable you to achieve your career goals and thrive in an ever-evolving world.

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Communication Styles

Understanding communication styles within your team is crucial when starting a new project or job. Effective communication is the backbone of successful teamwork and can impact the outcome of any collaborative effort. By recognizing and adapting to different styles, team members can improve their interactions, reduce misunderstandings, and foster a pleasant working environment.

Communication Styles Vary Widely

Communication styles can vary widely among individuals. Some people are direct and assertive, while others may be more reserved and indirect. There are those who prefer detailed and structured communication, and those who are more flexible and informal. Understanding these differences is the first step towards effective communication.

Affect Team Dynamics

Diverse communication styles can either be a source of strength or conflict within a team. When team members understand and respect each other’s communication preferences, it leads to smoother interactions and better collaboration. On the other hand, ignoring these differences can result in miscommunication, frustration, and decreased productivity.

Building Trust and Rapport

Trust and rapport are essential components of a successful team. When team members feel understood and respected, they are more likely to open up and share their ideas and concerns. By adapting to different communication styles, team leaders can build trust and rapport more effectively, creating a positive and inclusive team culture.

Being clear ensures that everyone is on the same page and understands their roles and responsibilities. Misunderstandings can lead to mistakes, missed deadlines, and conflicts. By tailoring communication to suit the audience, team members can ensure that their messages are received and understood correctly.

Inclusivity and Collaboration

Inclusive communication practices help create an environment where everyone feels valued and heard. Recognizing and respecting different communication styles promotes inclusivity and encourages team members to contribute their unique perspectives and ideas. This collaborative approach can lead to more innovative solutions and better project outcomes.

Practical Strategies

To understand and adapt to different communication styles, consider the following strategies:
Active Listening: Pay attention to what others are saying and show genuine interest in their viewpoints.
Ask Questions:   Clarify any uncertainties by asking open-ended questions.
Be Flexible:  Adjust your communication style to match the preferences of your team members.
Provide Feedback: Give constructive feedback in a way that aligns with the recipient’s communication style.

Use Multiple Channels: Utilize various communication channels (IE: emails, meetings, instant messaging) to accommodate different preferences.

Understanding communication styles within your team is fundamental when starting a new project or job. By recognizing and adapting to these differences, team members can enhance their interactions, build trust, and foster a more collaborative and productive working environment. Effective communication is not just about conveying information; it’s about connecting with others in a way that is meaningful.

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Interviewing and Soft Skills

In today’s job market, having the technical skills and qualifications is no longer enough to secure employment. Increasingly, employers are placing greater emphasis on soft skills and emotional intelligence during the interview process. Interpersonal skills not only shape how individuals interact with others but also play a role in their success at work.

Why So Valuable

Soft skills include a wide range of traits, including communication, teamwork, problem-solving, adaptability, and time management. While technical skills may vary from one job to another, soft skills are universally valued across all industries and professions. Employers recognize that candidates who possess strong soft skills are better equipped to collaborate with colleagues. They are also able to resolve conflicts and navigate the complexities of the modern workplace.

How Are Soft Skills Evaluated?

During the interview process, employers assess candidates’ soft skills through a variety of methods. This includes behavioral questions, situational scenarios, and role-playing exercises. By evaluating candidates’ responses and observing their demeanor, interviewers can gauge their level of emotional intelligence. Your interpersonal competence is actually a decent indicator of how well you will handle certain difficult situations.

EQ

Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ, is another essential aspect of success in the workplace. It encompasses self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills. Workers with high emotional intelligence are better able to understand and manage their own emotions. They can also communicate effectively with others and will build positive relationships in the workplace.

Employers value emotional intelligence because it fosters a supportive and collaborative work environment. It also enhances leadership effectiveness and improves employee morale and engagement. Additionally, individuals with high emotional intelligence are better equipped to handle stress, navigate change, and adapt to new challenges, These employees are invaluable assets to any organization and should be developed into leaders for the future.

Interviewing and Storytelling

During the interview process, candidates can demonstrate their soft skills and emotional intelligence by providing specific examples. While interviewing tell your story and how you solved a difficult situation. By sharing examples of collaboration, problem-solving, and effective communication, candidates can showcase their interpersonal strengths. These will highlight your ability to contribute positively to the organization and your new team.

Soft skills and emotional intelligence cannot be overstated in today’s job market. Employers recognize that candidates who possess strong interpersonal qualities are better equipped to succeed in the workplace and make meaningful contributions. By emphasizing soft skills and emotional intelligence during the interview process, candidates can differentiate themselves from the competition. Best of luck and tell your story!

 

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Starting A New Job

Starting a new job is an exciting yet crucial phase in your career journey, and establishing effective communication with your new boss is essential. Engaging in open and strategic discussions early on can set the tone for a successful and productive working relationship. Here are the top four topics to discuss with your new boss as you embark on this professional adventure.

Expectations and Goals

Start a conversation with your new boss about expectations and goals. Gain clarity on what they see for your role and how success will be measured. This discussion allows you to support your work objectives with those of the team and the entire organization.

Understanding your manager’s expectations provides valuable insights into priorities, preferred work styles, and the overall mission of the organization. It’s an opportunity to express your enthusiasm for contributing to the team overall success. You also can seek direction on how you can excel in your new role.

Communication Styles

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a positive working relationship. Take the time to discuss communication preferences with your new boss. Inquire about preferred channels of communication.  Do they prefer email, regular check-in meetings, or a project management platform for updates? Clarify expectations regarding your progress, reporting structures, and how feedback will be delivered.

Establishing clear communication guidelines helps create a pleasant working environment. It also ensures you and your manager are on the same page regarding information flow.

Professional Development Opportunities

Express your commitment to professional growth by discussing potential opportunities for development. Inquire about training programs, mentorship possibilities, or skill-building initiatives within the company. Understanding the organization’s investment in employee development demonstrates your eagerness to contribute in the long term.

It’s also an excellent opportunity to discuss your career goals and how the company can support your ambitions. This conversation showcases your dedication to personal growth and also sets the stage for a collaborative approach to career advancement.

Establishing a Feedback Loop

Consider adding a fourth topic to your discussions: the establishment of a feedback loop. Express your openness to receiving constructive feedback and inquire about your supervisor’s preferred method for providing input. A proactive approach to feedback fosters a culture of continuous improvement and demonstrates your commitment to personal and team successes.

The initial conversations with your new boss lay the foundation for a positive and productive working relationship. Discussing expectations, communication preferences, and professional development opportunities allows for alignment and mutual understanding.

Additionally, establishing a feedback loop sets the stage for ongoing improvement and collaboration. By addressing these essential topics, you set the foundation for a successful and fulfilling career.

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Labor Day’s History

Labor Day, celebrated on the first Monday of September, marks a key moment in American history. It’s not just the unofficial end of summer. This federal holiday honors the contributions of workers and the labor movement. This holiday symbolizing the economic and social achievements of American labor. The start of Labor Day can be traced to the 19th century, a time marked by industrialization and labor unrest.

Birth of Labor Day

The origins of Labor Day are rooted in the labor movement’s fight for fair working conditions during the late 1800s. During this time, workers faced grueling hours, unsafe working environments, and minimal pay. Labor unions began to form, supporting workers’ rights and organizing strikes and rallies to demand better conditions.

The first Labor Day parade took place on September 5, 1882, in New York City. Thousands of workers marched from City Hall to Union Square, carrying banners and flags to demonstrate solidarity. This event, seen as a great success, inspired unions across the country for a national holiday honoring all workers.

Federal Recognition
The push for a national holiday gained momentum, and states began to recognize Labor Day. Oregon was the first state to declare it an official holiday in 1887. Following Oregon’s lead, Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New York also adopted the holiday.

The federal government officially recognized Labor Day in 1894, following a significant labor conflict known as the Pullman Strike. The strike involved workers from the Pullman Company, a railroad car manufacturer. The workers from this company protested wage cuts and high rents in company-owned housing.

The strike worsened, leading to nationwide railroad disruptions and violent clashes between workers and federal troops. In the aftermath, and as a peacemaking gesture toward the movement, President Cleveland signed legislation making Labor Day a holiday.

Modern Celebrations
Over time, Labor Day has evolved from its roots as a day of labor protest and activism to a broader celebration Today, it signifies the unofficial end of summer, marked by parades, barbecues, and family gatherings. However, its historical significance remains a reminder of the struggles and achievements of the American labor movement.

Labor Day also serves as a time to reflect on the ongoing challenges faced by workers. Issues such as fair wages, safe working conditions, and workers’ rights. Labor Day in the United States is a testament to the resilience and determination of the labor movement. From its origins in the late 19th century, it remains a powerful symbol of workers’ contributions to the nation’s progress.

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Arts and Culture

In schools, arts and culture are like colorful sprinkles on a cupcake. They make everything more fun and exciting! But why are they so important? Let’s find out!

First off, arts and culture help us express ourselves. Just like how we use words to tell stories, we can use art to show our feelings and ideas. Whether it’s painting, drawing, singing, or dancing, there are lots of ways to let our creativity shine!

And, arts and culture teach us about different people and places around the world. Imagine taking a magical journey through time and space without leaving your classroom! Through art, music, and stories from different cultures, we can learn about traditions, history, and how people live in faraway lands.

The arts make learning more fun and memorable. Instead of just reading about historical events in a textbook, we can act them out in a play. By visually re-enforcing concepts, students show what they’ve learned. This makes learning feel like an adventure and helps with retention of information.

Additionally, arts and culture help us develop important skills. When we work on art projects or perform in a play, we learn to problem-solve, work together, and think creatively. These skills are super helpful not just in school, but also in life!

Furthermore, arts and culture bring joy and happiness to our school community. Picture a school concert where everyone is singing and clapping along, or an art show where we admire other’s masterpieces. These moments create special memories and bring us closer together as a community.

The arts can inspire us to dream big and follow our passions. Maybe after seeing a beautiful ballet performance, you decide you want to become a dancer. Or perhaps after reading an amazing book, you’re inspired to become a writer. The arts open doors to endless possibilities for students and adults alike.

Arts and culture are like the colorful threads that weave through the fabric of our school experience. They help us express ourselves, learn about the world, develop important skills, and create joyful memories. So, let’s celebrate and embrace the arts in our schools—they make our days brighter and our hearts fuller!

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Caring for Parents

As our parents age, the question of when to transition them into assisted living becomes a delicate, personal decision. This choice is often intertwined with emotions, practical considerations, and the desire to ensure the well-being of aging parents. Here are three important factors to consider when caring for your parents and making this decision.

Assessing Health and Safety Needs

The primary concern in determining the need for assisted living is the health and safety of aging parents. Evaluate their ability to perform daily activities independently, such as bathing, dressing, and managing medications. If there are signs of declining health, increased frailty, or a higher risk of accidents, assisted living may provide the answer.

Look for indicators such as frequent falls, forgetfulness, or difficulties managing household tasks. Engage in open communication with healthcare professionals to gain insights into your parents’ current and potential future needs. Assessing their physical and mental well-being serves as a foundation for making an informed decision about the level of care.

Social and Emotional Well-being

Isolation and loneliness can significantly impact the overall well-being of seniors. I know first-hand, how a lonely parent’s health can decline rapidly. If your parents are experiencing a lack of social interaction, assisted living communities can offer a supportive environment for engagement. Consider the emotional aspects of their current living situation, and evaluate whether assisted living will be a more socially connected lifestyle.

Family dynamics also play a role in this decision. Assess the availability of family members to provide support.  Recognizing that the emotional well-being of both aging parents and their caregivers is important and impacts the entire family.

Financial Impact

The financial impact of assisted living is a huge consideration. Explore the costs associated with various assisted living options. You must factor in services, amenities, and potential future healthcare needs. Consult with financial advisors to understand the long-term implications and available resources.  You don’t realize how expensive adult care facilities are especially as the level of care rises through the years.

Additionally, assess the practicality of managing the current living situation. If the maintenance of a home becomes challenging, assisted living may offer a more practical solution. Balancing financial concerns with practical daily needs is essential for making a well-rounded decision.

Difficult Nature of the Decision

Deciding when to transition aging parents into assisted living is one of the most challenging decisions a family can face. It requires careful consideration of individual needs, family dynamics, and the emotional well-being of everyone involved. Recognize that this decision is deeply personal, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Open communication, empathy, and involving your parents in the decision-making process can help navigate the difficulties.  This ensures that the chosen path supports their wishes and quality of life.

The decision to move aging parents into assisted living is complex and demands thoughtful consideration. By prioritizing health, social and emotional well-being, financial considerations, families can work together. As adult children, you must make choices that prioritize their support, recognizing that the well-being of both parents. It’s not easy, but it’s a fact of life as we all age.

 

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Dublin Weekend

Dublin, the capital of Ireland, offers historic charm and modern attractions, making it the perfect destination for a long weekend. Begin your journey at Trinity College, home to the Book of Kells. This historic manuscript, dating back to the 9th century, is a marvel of early medieval art. Then, take a leisurely stroll through the college’s picturesque grounds and visit the iconic Long Room in the Old Library. This room houses over 200,000 of Trinity’s oldest library books.

Next, head to Dublin Castle, a symbol of the city’s evolution from a Viking settlement to a bustling metropolis. The castle’s grounds offer a fascinating glimpse into Ireland’s complex history. Don’t miss the Chester Beatty Library. Located within the castle complex, it showcases a remarkable collection of manuscripts, prints, and rare books from around the world.

Dublin’s Cultural Scene

Dublin’s cultural landscape is rich and diverse, offering something for every taste. Dedicate a morning to exploring the National Gallery of Ireland. Here you can admire works by Irish and international artists, including Caravaggio and Vermeer. Art lovers should also visit the Irish Museum of Modern Art, set in the magnificent Royal Hospital Kilmainham. This is the contemporary Irish art hub and can’t be missed.

For a taste of Dublin’s literary heritage, take a literary walking tour or visit the Dublin Writers Museum. Both will expose you to lives and works of literary giants like James Joyce, W.B. Yeats, and Samuel Beckett. To experience the local performing arts scene, watch a play at the Abbey Theatre, showcasing the best of Irish drama.

Dublin’s Modern Sights

No visit to Dublin is complete without indulging in its modern delights. Start with a visit to the Guinness Storehouse, where you learn the history and brewing process of Ireland’s iconic beer. The tour ends with a pint at the Gravity Bar, offering panoramic views of the city. For whiskey enthusiasts, the Jameson Distillery on Bow Street provides an engaging tour and tasting experience.

Dublin’s food scene has flourished in recent years. Enjoy a meal at one of the city’s many gastropubs, where traditional Irish fare is served with a contemporary twist. For a special treat, dine at Chapter One or Restaurant Patrick Guilbaud, both Michelin-starred establishments offering exquisite cuisine.

In the evenings, experience Dublin’s vibrant nightlife in the Temple Bar district. This area is famous for its lively pubs, live music, and bustling atmosphere. Whether you’re enjoying traditional Irish music at The Cobblestone or sipping cocktails at a trendy bar, the spirit of Dublin comes alive at night.

Spending a long weekend in Dublin promises a delightful mix of history, culture, and modern pleasures. This trip promises a memorable experience in a charming, historic city.

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