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Let Things Go

"Be wary of Negative People..."

I had to share the latest book I read, “How to Let Things Go, 99 Tips…” by Shunmyo Mansuno. Simple and valuable nuggets I found helpful to get us through challenging and good times.

Character

The way you handle difficult people show a great deal about your character and value system. Do you let the little things get to you or worry a lot? If you tend to focus on what “can go wrong,” vs. allowing life to happen, listen up.  Mansuno, who is also a Buddhist Monk, provides reminders on “…relinquishing anxiety, impatience, and anger.”

You are in control of your own emotions and the reaction to personal situations, nothing else. If worry about every scenario that “could happen,” you’re wasting valuable energy.

Let life happen, but be smart about it. Suggestions include, “moderating your expectations.”  Not everything will go your way in life. So be humble, and let me say that again, just be humble.

Social Media

What you see on social media is the 2%-5% of the “great” that is happening in people’s lives. The author suggests that people knowing about 50% (or even 30%) is a healthy way to live.  Keep your life private for peace of mind.

We don’t need to know everything, and it keeps the pressure off of you to be “picture perfect.”  Everyone has something they are dealing with, that we don’t know about it.  And that’s just fine, and it’s a healthy way to go through life.

Accountability

Finally, do what you’ll say you are going to do.  “Don’t push things off until tomorrow,” we’re reminded.  You can tell a person’s true intentions by what “they do” not what they say. So just do it, and live your life with integrity and accountability.

That also goes for taking responsibility when things don’t work out, or you make a mistake. We learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, always.

And surrounding yourself with people that lift you up and support you will help you all through life.  As the authors reminds us, “Be wary of negative people.”  Positivity and kindness will be habits for life to help during the bad times and nurture you in good times.

So, what is your “go to” to help others navigate this changing world?

For more living well, tips check out my website: KathyHusserTempe.com

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Expectations for 2025

Setting Expectations for 2025

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

With 2025 and a new year in front of us, we tend to reflect on past achievements, setbacks, and experiences. The transition from one year to the next presents a unique opportunity to redefine priorities and set clear expectations for the year ahead. In 2025, establishing personal and professional goals with concrete expectations can have a profound impact on success, motivation, and overall well-being.

Creating Clarity and Direction

Setting expectations provides a sense of clarity. Without a clear sense of where we want to go, it’s easy to become distracted or overwhelmed by the demands of daily life. In a fast-paced world where new opportunities and challenges arise constantly, defining what you expect from yourself and the year ahead helps to maintain focus. This clarity allows you to direct your energy toward meaningful endeavors rather than being swayed by distractions.

Accountability

When you set expectations for the year, you also build in a system of accountability. Expectations function as a form of self-contract, a commitment you make to yourself about what you aim to achieve. Whether your goals are related to career advancement, personal growth, or wellness, establishing these goals helps keep you accountable. Regularly checking in with these expectations can also serve as a powerful motivator, prompting you to reassess and adjust. Whether it’s a financial goal or career-focused achievement, keep re-assessing your progress.

Managing Stress and Burnout

Photo by Chelsea Gates on Unsplash

In a world that often prioritizes constant productivity, it’s easy to push yourself to extremes. However, unrealistic expectations can lead to stress and burnout. Setting balanced expectations that account for both ambition and personal well-being is crucial. For 2025, it’s important to not only set high aspirations but also to be mindful of your limits. This balanced approach helps maintain both mental and physical health, allowing you to avoid burnout and approach your goals sustainably.

Enhancing Personal Growth

Setting expectations is also a pathway to personal development. By clearly defining what you want to achieve, you give yourself the chance to grow in specific areas. Whether it’s developing a new skill, improving relationships, or achieving financial goals, having expectations pushes you out of your comfort zone. Growth doesn’t happen by accident — it’s the result of intentional effort and persistence. Both of these are supported by your well-defined expectations.

2025 offers a fresh start, and setting expectations is a powerful way to ensure that the year is filled with purpose, direction, and growth. By taking the time to reflect on your goals, you can create a roadmap for success that keeps you accountable and balanced throughout the year.

For more living well tips check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

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Selfcare for 2025

Sunflower from my garden this spring.
A bright sunflower growing in my front yard garden.

As 2025 begins, it’s an ideal time for selfceare that will help you lead a healthier, more balanced life. Rather than making drastic changes that might be hard to sustain, focus on small habits that can make a big impact over time. Here are some tips to start the new year off right with a focus on health and personal growth.

Prioritize Your Health

Good health is the foundation for a successful year. Begin by evaluating your current habits and identifying areas for improvement. Simple changes like eating more fruits and vegetables, drinking more water, and getting enough sleep can improve your well-being. Regular exercise is also essential; it doesn’t have to be intense. Activities like walking, yoga, or swimming can help keep you active while also being enjoyable and stress-free.

Engage in Stress-Free Activities

Managing stress is key to maintaining both mental and physical health. Start by incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. These simple habits can help reduce stressand promote a sense of calm.

Additionally, consider hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or playing an instrument, have some fun!  These activities provide a creative outlet and a break from the pressures of daily life. Spending time in nature is another great way to de-stress. Studies have shown that even a short walk in a park can reduce anxiety and boost your mood.

Focus on Personal Growth

The new year is a great time to set goals for personal development. Start by reflecting on the past year and identifying areas where you’d like to grow. This could be learning a new skill, improving your time management, or working on your emotional intelligence. Setting realistic, achievable goals is important; break them down into smaller steps to make them more manageable.

Reading is another powerful tool for personal growth. Choose books that inspire you, challenge your thinking, or teach you something new. Journaling is also a valuable practice.  Writing down your thoughts, goals, and reflections can help clarify your intentions and track your progress throughout the year.

Starting the new year off right doesn’t mean making drastic changes overnight. By focusing on your health, engaging in stress-free activities, and setting achievable goals for personal growth, you can create a foundation for a happier, healthier year ahead. Remember, progress is made through consistent, small steps, so be kind to yourself and enjoy the journey.

For more living well tips check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

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Holiday Recipes

Have an agenda and your goals will be accomplished
Have a plan and keep refining for success.

Holiday recipes will not be the same as the “recipes” I shared for the Thanksgiving holiday. These recipes are how to celebrate the holidays to bring you joy this year and next. Here are a few ideas to make this holiday season shine!

Work Reflection

Reflecting on the past year during this time brings great comfort and clarification of the past 11 to 12 months.  What work goals did you achieve?  What new goals for your career will you begin?  Think about the changes in your job and home life you had this year; was it beneficial? Out of your control?  This is the time to set your path on what you’ll be focusing on for 2025 in your career.

Relationships

Relationships, like life, are always changing. What relationships would you like to nurture next year or pull away from?  As you grow, your relationships will change with you as your boundaries grow and are defined.

When I was a mom with your kids, my circle of friends were other moms from our play group. As my children grew, my friendships changed too. Work relationships and my friends from the gym become my focus, as my kids gained their own circle of friends. Getting out there making new friends feels good and is healthy.

Health

Health and wellness are always important, so a recipe for success always starts with your self-care first.  Look at your nutrition, physical exercise, and mindset to create a path to wellness. Stress can be the biggest obstacle to positive mental and physical fitness. Your mind can make or break you, so meditation and taking time for yourself is important for a healthy outlook. A 15- minute walk after dinner or before you set off for work in the morning helps clear your mind.

There is no tried and true path for a happy life, but there are “recipes” to help you learn, grow, and thrive every year. Taking this time during the holidays to re-evaluate habits in your life that need focus will help.  Life is about change, and I hope yours is positive and productive.

For more living well, tips check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

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Career Wisdom

Leadership written in blue and hand writing the word visible.

As you progress in your career you pick up morsels of wisdom. Recently I found a post by a former journalist and leader that I enjoyed reading.  Here are few “bite-size” morsels to help you navigate your career.

Harvey Mackay is a self-made business person and wise mentor sharing his experience.

For example, he was quoted, “Don’t just mark time; use time to make your mark.” I liken Harvey’s wisdom to that of James Clear’s career advice.  Clear is known for his best-selling book, “Atomic Habits” and routinely speaks at Fortune 500 gatherings and keynotes.

The times and mode of communication have changed. James’ profile on LinkedIn has thousands of followers. Harvey was syndicated in national newspapers for years. However, the common sense habits and “grit” needed to succeed, then and now, are the same.

Another bit of “Harvey wisdom,” reads like something out of Clear’s current playbook. “Technology should improve your life, not become your life.”  Compared to James Clear’s recent quote:

 “Simple ways to have a peaceful moment:

-Close your eyes and just breathe for two minutes.

-Leave your phone in another room for an hour…”

So, my point is wisdom comes in all forms and changes slightly over time. But really, your experiences shape the person you want to be and will become. Kindness, consistency, and putting the work in will result in rewards.  Rewards of goals achieved, dreams realized, and what success looks like for you.

Life is full of mishaps, fun, and opportunities. Be ready for what comes your way. As Harvey stated, “How people play the game shows something of their character. How they lose shows all of it.”  Food for thought…

For more career advice check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

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It’s Not You

Yellowstone Lake - Nature is rejuvenating
Wishing you calm and happiness this season

After reading Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s new book, “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People,” I had to share. This book is life affirming if you need to understand why “bad things” happen to you and motivators of narcissists. Dr. Durvasula also provides extensive strategies for healing and dealing with these highly manipulative and vengeful people.

Who Are They? 

We don’t know why people act the way they do to hurt others. It’s a diagnosed personality disorder that is finally getting the attention it needs. The definition of a narcissistic goes beyond just wanting their way all the time or being powerful.  It’s about people you have in your life, that abuse and shift blame by gaslighting, manipulating, and lying without remorse.

“Nothing is ever their responsibility or their fault because for a narcissistic person to take responsibility or accept blame means having to accept that they are accountable and imperfect.”

There are varying levels of abusive behaviors outlined, some classified as “malignant narcissists.”

They malign people publicly, or harm their reputations. They are highly manipulative, transactional, and judge everyone based on how useful they are – whether for power, profits, pleasure, or validation. In the simplest framing, the malignant narcissist is a bully, mean and menacing…”

You will recognize the examples used in your own family or workplace relationships. You will also understand how often these behaviors happen and go unchecked in society. The focus is never really on the narcissistic, but more on the actions of the victims being abused.  Almost as if the victim has something wrong with them, despite the facts not adding up from narcissist’s manipulated account.

How Does It Happen?

If you are in an abusive relationship, the obvious answer is to leave. But it’s not always that simple. Dr. Durvasula provides examples where it’s just not possible to leave a job, marriage or other important relationship despite abuse. The victim talks themselves out of it, thinks THEY are the reason that these “bad things” are happening.

Victims routinely believe the manufactured and false narratives about what is taking place due to other silent and compliant people.  It boils down to trust. When those closest to you break that trust and know what’s really going on but do nothing, that’s your truth.

“In other words, narcissistic people make you feel small so they can feel safe.” 

These narcissists get something from their victims while “love bombing,” charming them, and prioritizing the relationship.  When the victim realizes what is actually going on and sets boundaries and reveals the truth, all hell breaks loose.  

“Hell, really hath no fury like a narcissist scorned. Their vindictive behavior may range from spreading damaging workplace gossip” to other more harmful and life threating outcomes.

Be warned, that stalking and public humiliation of their victims is quite commonplace for these individuals. Their tactics escalate when their victims pull away or start understanding the truth about past events. 

How to Protect Yourself 

There are many strategies discussed in the book to combat DARVO, or the common methods narcissists use.  (That’s a very useful chapter.) You should also try to distance yourself spiritually or physically from your abuser(s.) If you must stay in a relationship for work or family reasons, sound strategies are provided. These will help you heal and learn to deal with these negative people. As the author states, you will be better informed the next time you come across these individuals. And you most definitely will!

The healing that takes place when you know you’re not the crazy one is incredible. Narcissist behaviors happen daily to so many of us, but now you have a voice…an authentic voice.

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Halloween 2024

Sunflower from my garden this spring.
A bright sunflower growing in my front yard garden.

Halloween is just a few days away.  Planning the perfect costume that is safe, non-political, and easy to pull together can be a challenge in 2024 Fear not! Here are four suggestions that will spark your imagination for a memorable Halloween for all.

Classic Costumes

You can never go wrong with a simple ghost, zombie, or witch this Halloween. Even a retro T-shirt with a Halloween saying is an easy way to have fun and stay in the Halloween spirit.

Mythical Creatures

Embrace the magic of legends by dressing up as a mythical creature. From fairies and unicorns to dragons and mermaids, the options are endless. Tap into your imagination and create a costume that brings these creatures to life. You can use colorful fabrics, sparkly accessories, and face paint to enhance the fantastical elements.

Let your creativity soar as you craft wings for a fairy or design scales for a mermaid. These fun costumes are sure to inspire you to add your own creative touches. The popularity of these TV series are perfect for all ages.

Book Characters

Pay tribute to the beloved characters from your favorite books by bringing them to life this Halloween. Whether it’s Cinderella, Harry Potter, or the mischievous Cat in the Hat. These literary icons offer a world of possibilities for creative costumes.

Browse your local thrift stores or search your own closet for clothing items that resemble the characters’ signature styles. Add some key accessories, such as Cinderella’s shiny heels or Harry Potter’s round glasses, to complete the look. Not only will you celebrate your love for books, but you’ll inspire others to dive into the world of reading.

Taylor and Travis

Yes, our perfect couple is still very popular for Halloween this year. Why not mix-up the best of both football and music? Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift “look a likes” would make a perfect Halloween couple’s costume.  Athletics and pop music blend seamlessly and talk about easy costumes to gather. A Kansas City football jersey and some “Swiftie” swag and you are both set for Halloween!  You could also add those personal touches of hair color, beard, microphone, and #13 for effect.  Have fun this year with our most watched couple of 2024.

Choosing a safe, non-political, and easy-to-pull-together Halloween costume may seem like a challenge. But, these suggestions provide a perfect starting point. Whether you opt for a classic Halloween character, pop icons, or a beloved book character, the key is creativity people!

Remember, safety should always come first.  Also ensure your costume is comfortable, allows for easy movement, and doesn’t block your vision. And don’t forget to add your own personal flair and unique touches to make the costume truly yours.

As Halloween approaches, let your imagination run wild and create a costume that brings joy to those around you. Whether you’re trick-or-treating, attending a party, or simply celebrating at home, these ideas will help.

Keeping the focus on the fun and festive spirit of Halloween is the main point.  So, unleash your inner creative spirit, gather your materials, and get ready for a Halloween filled with magic!

Check out my website for more ideas: KathyHusserTempe.com

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Strategies for Work

Shelves of books to promote reading and self-care.
Books make me happy!

 

As we navigate work, the landscape of career development continues to evolve at a rapid pace. With technological advancements, shifting job markets, and the rise of remote work, professionals must be more strategic and adaptable than ever. Here are key strategies and habits to effectively navigate your career goals this year.

Lifelong Learning

The importance of continuous learning cannot be overstated. With industries rapidly changing, staying updated with the latest skills and knowledge is crucial. Enroll in online courses, attend workshops, and pursue certifications relevant to your field. Lifelong learning not only keeps you competitive but also opens up new opportunities for career advancement.

Technology is Vital

Technology is a driving force in the modern workplace. Familiarize yourself with digital tools and platforms that can enhance your productivity and efficiency. From project management software to data analysis tools, being tech-savvy can give you a significant edge.

Additionally, building a strong online presence through LinkedIn and other professional networks can help you connect with industry leaders and potential employers.

Adapt to Hybrid Work

The shift to remote and hybrid work models is here to stay. Develop strong self-discipline, time management, and communication skills to thrive in these environments.

Create a dedicated workspace and establish a routine that fosters productivity. Being adaptable and comfortable with virtual collaboration tools is essential for success in a remote or hybrid setup.

Network

Networking remains a critical component of career development. Attend industry conferences, join professional associations, and participate in online forums. Networking helps you stay informed about industry trends, gain insights from peers, and discover job opportunities. Building a diverse professional network can provide support and guidance throughout your career journey.

Set Clear Goals

Define your career goals with clarity. Whether aiming for a promotion or starting your own business, setting specific measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals is essential. Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps and track your progress regularly.

Seek Coaching

Mentors and career coaches can provide valuable guidance and support. They can help you navigate challenges, identify strengths and weaknesses, and develop a clear career path. Don’t hesitate to seek advice from experienced professionals who can offer insights based on their own career journeys.

Navigating career goals requires an adaptive mindset. By embracing lifelong learning, leveraging technology, networking actively, setting clear goals, and seeking mentorship, you can succeed at a new job. Change will enable you to achieve your career goals and thrive in an ever-evolving world.

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Communication Styles

Have an agenda and your goals will be accomplished
Have a plan and keep refining for success.

Understanding communication styles within your team is crucial when starting a new project or job. Effective communication is the backbone of successful teamwork and can impact the outcome of any collaborative effort. By recognizing and adapting to different styles, team members can improve their interactions, reduce misunderstandings, and foster a pleasant working environment.

Communication Styles Vary Widely

Communication styles can vary widely among individuals. Some people are direct and assertive, while others may be more reserved and indirect. There are those who prefer detailed and structured communication, and those who are more flexible and informal. Understanding these differences is the first step towards effective communication.

Affect Team Dynamics

Diverse communication styles can either be a source of strength or conflict within a team. When team members understand and respect each other’s communication preferences, it leads to smoother interactions and better collaboration. On the other hand, ignoring these differences can result in miscommunication, frustration, and decreased productivity.

Building Trust and Rapport

Trust and rapport are essential components of a successful team. When team members feel understood and respected, they are more likely to open up and share their ideas and concerns. By adapting to different communication styles, team leaders can build trust and rapport more effectively, creating a positive and inclusive team culture.

Being clear ensures that everyone is on the same page and understands their roles and responsibilities. Misunderstandings can lead to mistakes, missed deadlines, and conflicts. By tailoring communication to suit the audience, team members can ensure that their messages are received and understood correctly.

Inclusivity and Collaboration

Inclusive communication practices help create an environment where everyone feels valued and heard. Recognizing and respecting different communication styles promotes inclusivity and encourages team members to contribute their unique perspectives and ideas. This collaborative approach can lead to more innovative solutions and better project outcomes.

Practical Strategies

To understand and adapt to different communication styles, consider the following strategies:
Active Listening: Pay attention to what others are saying and show genuine interest in their viewpoints.
Ask Questions:   Clarify any uncertainties by asking open-ended questions.
Be Flexible:  Adjust your communication style to match the preferences of your team members.
Provide Feedback: Give constructive feedback in a way that aligns with the recipient’s communication style.

Use Multiple Channels: Utilize various communication channels (IE: emails, meetings, instant messaging) to accommodate different preferences.

Understanding communication styles within your team is fundamental when starting a new project or job. By recognizing and adapting to these differences, team members can enhance their interactions, build trust, and foster a more collaborative and productive working environment. Effective communication is not just about conveying information; it’s about connecting with others in a way that is meaningful.

For more career tips check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

 

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Back to School

Graphic with the words Libraries are for Everyone

As summer draws to a close, the familiar routine of back to school calls. Whether you’re returning to elementary, high school, or college, being fully prepared is important for a successful year. But what does it mean to be prepared? It’s not just about having the right tablet or laptop; it’s also about being mentally, physically, and emotionally ready.

Mentally Prepared

Being mentally prepared is like training before a race—it’s the foundation upon which all other preparations rest. Mental readiness means a positive attitude, clear goals, and effective time management skills. When you approach the school year with a growth mindset, you’re better equipped to handle demands, setbacks, and deadlines.

Cultivating resilience and adaptability allows you to navigate any obstacles that may arise, turning them into opportunities for growth.

Physical Preparedness

Just as a well-tuned engine powers a car, physical preparedness fuels your body and mind for the educational journey ahead. This includes getting enough sleep, maintaining a balanced diet, and staying physically active. Adequate sleep is vital, as it enhances cognitive function, your memory, and mood regulation.

These are essential for effective learning. Similarly, nourishing your body with nutritious foods and staying hydrated provide the energy needed to excel in the classroom. Regular exercise not only boosts physical health but also improves mental clarity and reduces stress. This is setting the stage for your academic success.

Emotional Support

Emotional preparedness involves resilience and building a support network to weather the highs and lows of the school year. Acknowledge and validate your feelings, whether they’re excitement, anxiety, or uncertainty. Seek out supportive friends, family members, or mentors who can offer guidance and encouragement.

Developing healthy coping skills, such as mindfulness or journaling, can also help manage stress and promote emotional well-being. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it, and taking care of your mental health is just as important as your academic achievements.

Start the new school year off right by keeping your mind and body in tip top shape this year.

For more living well tips check out: KathyHusserTempe.com