Tag: #family

Categories
#kathyhusser career Family Happiness holidays kathyhusser Travel work

Exploring Chicago

Flying to my travel spot!
The window seat is the best view on vacation.

Chicago comes alive in spring, offering plenty of activities and attractions for visitors to explore. The city’s parks, architecture, and vibrant neighborhoods make it a must-visit travel destination. I’ve visited Chicago for work and pleasure many times, and these are my top sites to see.

Millennium Park and Cloud Gate

Millennium Park is a top destination in Chicago. It’s home to the famous Cloud Gate, also called “The Bean.” This reflective sculpture draws crowds, perfect for photos and relaxing nearby. In spring, the park’s greenery and flowers bloom, creating a beautiful setting for outdoor walks. The flowers are truly amazing for any photographer!

The Art Institute of Chicago

The Art Institute of Chicago is one of the best art museums in the world. Its impressive collection includes famous works by Monet, Van Gogh, and Picasso. Spring is a great time to visit, with special exhibitions often hosted during this season. Art students can be seen during the school year sketching and enjoying the works.

Stroll Along the Chicago Riverwalk

The Chicago Riverwalk offers a scenic place to enjoy the city’s stunning architecture. Springtime brings comfortable temperatures for walking along the river. Cafés and restaurants along the Riverwalk open up in the spring, making it a great spot for lunch. Don’t forget the rooftop restaurants that offer a magnificent view of the city as well.

Chicago Architecture Tour

Spring is the perfect time for a Chicago architecture boat tour. This popular attraction provides a unique perspective of the city’s skyscrapers. The guided tours offer fascinating details about Chicago’s architectural history while you cruise along the Chicago River. I’ve taken this tour and walked away with a new appreciation of the city’s buildings and history.

Navy Pier and Lakefront Views

Navy Pier is a lively destination with attractions, shops, and restaurants. In spring, the pier becomes especially vibrant with seasonal events and outdoor entertainment. Enjoy stunning views of Lake Michigan from the pier’s Ferris wheel or simply stroll along its promenade.

Lincoln Park Zoo

Lincoln Park Zoo, one of the oldest zoos in the U.S., and is free to visit. Spring is an ideal time to explore its exhibits, with animals more active in mild weather. The surrounding park is also beautiful, with flowers blooming and fresh greenery.

Magnificent Mile Shopping

The Magnificent Mile is Chicago’s premier shopping district. Springtime brings great window displays and outdoor events to this iconic area. You’ll find everything from luxury brands to unique local shops.  Just window shopping is a treat down this iconic Chicago street.

Chicago offers an exciting mix of culture, history, and entertainment. In spring, the city’s parks, attractions, and neighborhoods provide countless opportunities to explore. Whether admiring art, cruising the river, or enjoying the outdoors, Chicago is an unforgettable destination this season.  Book your trip and enjoy the weather and sites with your family.

Check out more on my website: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser career careertips Family Happiness Health kathyhusser Librarian & Entrepreneurship Travel

Relocating Out of State

Have an agenda and your goals will be accomplished
Have a plan and keep refining for success.

Relocating to another state can be an exciting yet challenging experience. The key to a successful move lies in careful planning and execution. Here are some essential steps to ensure a smooth interstate move.  From contacting movers to negotiating contracts, these tips will help you with the transition.

Research and Contact Reliable Movers

The first step is start researching moving companies as early as possible. Look for movers that specialize in interstate moves, as they’ll be more familiar with the logistics and regulations involved. Utilize online reviews, ask for recommendations from friends or family. Finally, be sure to verify the company’s credentials through the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration (FMCSA). Ensure the company is licensed, insured, and has a U.S. Department of Transportation (USDOT) number.

Once you’ve shortlisted a few companies, request in-home or virtual estimates. This will provide a more accurate quote based on the volume of items to be moved. Beware of companies that offer lowball estimates, as they might add hidden charges later.

Negotiate and Finalize the Contract

Before signing a contract, thoroughly review all the details. The contract should outline the total cost, services included, & delivery timeline. Most importantly, any additional fees such as packing materials or handling specialty items needs to be detailed in the contract.

Don’t hesitate to negotiate the price. Ask if there are any discounts available, such as for flexible moving dates, military service, or AAA membership.  Prices will go up, but won’t ever go down, so negotiate ahead of the move.

Pay close attention to the type of estimate provided—whether it’s binding, non-binding, or binding-not-to-exceed. A binding estimate guarantees the final cost won’t exceed the quoted amount, which can provide peace of mind.

Additionally, ask about the company’s claims process in case of damage or loss during the move. Understanding this beforehand will save you time and frustration if issues arise. Read the fine print and be prepared just in case something unexpected happens during the trip.

Plan for a Smooth Moving Day

In the weeks leading up to the move, create a detailed moving checklist. This should include tasks such as updating your address with the post office, transferring utilities, and securing important documents. Declutter your home by selling, donating, or discarding items you no longer need. This can also reduce your moving costs quite a bit.

On moving day, have a bag packed with essentials like toiletries, medications, important documents, and a change of clothes. This ensures you have everything you need during transit, while waiting for your belongings to arrive at your new home.

Stay Organized and Communicate

Maintain clear communication with your movers. Confirm details like the arrival time, delivery window, and any special instructions for your belongings. Keep a copy of the contract and inventory list handy in case of discrepancies.

Finally, just being patient and positive with the moving company will help your stress level. Unexpected events can happen out of the ordinary, like weather or traffic which affect the movers’ timeline.

Moving to another state is a significant life event, but with proper preparation, it can be a stress-free experience. By researching, creating a detailed plan, and staying organized, you can ensure your move goes smoothly. This will allow you to focus on settling into your new home.

Categories
#kathyhusser Family Happiness holidays kathyhusser Travel

Springbreak 2025

Pink Coneflowers
Pink Coneflowers love a warmer climate.

Spring break is here for 2025. It’s an ideal time for solo travelers to embark on an adventure tailored to their own pace and interests. Whether you’re looking to relax beachside, explore the great outdoors, or discover hidden gems, here are destinations for solo travel.

 Beaches

For solo travelers seeking sun and sand, the U.S. boasts some incredible beach destinations. Sanibel Island, Florida is a perfect choice for those looking for a quieter, more relaxed vibe. Famous for its shell-covered beaches and stunning sunsets, Sanibel offers plenty of relaxation. You can explore the island by bike, visit the J.N. “Ding” Darling National Wildlife Refuge, or simply unwind.

Another great option is Carmel-by-the-Sea, California. This charming coastal town is known for its stunning beaches, art galleries, and quaint cottages. Stroll along the scenic 17-Mile Drive, visit the historic Carmel Mission, or enjoy some solitude on the beautiful Carmel Beach. It’s a perfect blend of natural beauty and small-town charm, ideal for a peaceful solo retreat. 

National Parks

Spring is a wonderful time to visit some of the United States’ most iconic national parks, especially before the summer crowds arrive.  Zion National Park in Utah is a top pick for solo travelers who love hiking and stunning landscapes. With trails ranging from easy walks to challenging climbs, Zion offers something for everyone. The Narrows and Angel’s Landing are two must-see hikes, providing breathtaking views and a true sense of adventure.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park, straddling the border between North Carolina and Tennessee, is another excellent destination. Spring brings blooming wildflowers and flowing waterfalls, making it a beautiful time to explore the park’s network of trails. The park’s peaceful atmosphere and wildlife provide a perfect backdrop for solo reflection and nature enjoyment. (Be sure to check road conditions with the recent fall storms that have left many communities isolated.)

Off the Beaten Track

If you’re looking to escape the crowds entirely, consider visiting some lesser-known destinations. Taos, New Mexico offers a unique blend of Native American culture, stunning desert landscapes, and rich artistic heritage. Explore Taos Pueblo, take a hot air balloon ride over Rio Grande Gorge, or visit the many art galleries. Taos’ tranquil environment makes it a perfect spot for solo travelers seeking solitude and inspiration.

Another hidden gem is Door County, Wisconsin. Located on a peninsula between Green Bay and Lake Michigan. Door County is known for its charming small towns, scenic coastal views, and outdoor activities. Explore the numerous lighthouses, hike in Peninsula State Park, or enjoy a peaceful kayak ride on the lake.

Whether you want a quiet beach, hiking through national parks, or discovering hidden treasures, the U.S. offers destinations perfect for solo spring breakers. These locations not only provide beauty and adventure but also the opportunity for personal growth, reflection, and the freedom to create your own unique travel experience.

For more travel inspiration check out my website: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser Family Gardening Happiness holidays kathyhusser

Valentine’s Day

Red Gerber Daisy in the Garden
Gerbera Daisies naturally attract pollinators in your garden.

Valentine’s Day, often celebrated as a day of romantic love, has evolved into a broader celebration of friendship and kindness. While traditionally linked with couples, this day offers a chance to extend love and appreciation beyond romantic relationships.

It’s a chance to recognize and cherish the various forms of love that enrich our lives. Whether it’s the bond with family, the friendship of colleagues, or the support of close friends, celebrate this year!

Celebrating Love

Valentine’s Day is a perfect reminder that love is not limited to just one type of relationship. While celebrating couples is popular, the 14th can also be about expressing gratitude to those who are important to us. Family members, colleagues, schoolmates, and friends contribute to our happiness and well-being every day. Remember these folks in countless ways, since they also deserve recognition and your love.

Family is often our first experience of love, providing a foundation of support and care. This Valentine’s Day, consider showing appreciation to your parents, siblings, or even extended family members. A heartfelt note, a phone call, or a small gift can make them feel valued and loved.

Co-Workers and Schoolmates

We spend a lot of time with our cc-workers and classmates. These relationships play an important role in our daily lives. They support us in our work or studies, celebrate our successes, and help us through challenges. Valentine’s Day offers a unique opportunity to strengthen these bonds.

Consider organizing a small celebration at work or school, where everyone exchanges cards or small tokens of appreciation. This can foster a sense of community and remind everyone that they are valued.

Cherishing Friendship

Friendship is another powerful form of love that often gets overlooked on Valentine’s Day. Friends are the ones who stand by us through thick and thin, offering advice, laughter, and companionship.

Take time this Valentine’s Day to reach out to your close friends. Plan a get-together, send a thoughtful message, or even share a meal. These gestures can deepen your connections and remind your friends how much they mean to you.

Valentine’s Day is more than just a celebration of romantic love. It’s an opportunity to acknowledge all the important relationships in our lives. By extending our appreciation to family members, colleagues, schoolmates, and friends, we can spread positivity and strengthen the bonds that make life meaningful.

This Valentine’s Day, let’s embrace the full range of love and celebrate the people who make our lives richer.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

For more living well tips check out my website: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser Family Happiness Health holidays kathyhusser Library Jobs Travel

Portugal in 2025

Pink Coneflowers
Pink Coneflowers love a warmer climate.

Portugal, a country rich in history, culture, and natural beauty, is one of Europe’s most popular travel destinations for 2025. From its stunning coastline to its vibrant cities, Portugal offers something for every traveler. Whether you’re drawn to historical sites, picturesque hiking trails, or world-class museums, Portugal has it all. Here’s a guide to the top tourist spots, hiking destinations, and museums to see while visiting this charming country.

Lisbon
No trip to Portugal is complete without a visit to Lisbon, the country’s vibrant capital. Lisbon’s charm lies in its mix of old-world charm and modern liveliness. Wander through the historic neighborhood of Alfama, where narrow streets, colorful buildings, and Fado music create an unforgettable atmosphere.

Don’t miss the Belém Tower and Jerónimos Monastery, both UNESCO World Heritage Sites. These showcase the grandeur of Portugal’s Age of Discovery. For stunning views of the city, take a ride on the Santa Justa Lift or head to one of Lisbon’s many “miradouros,” (Viewpoints for photos).

Porto
Porto, Portugal’s second-largest city, is famous for its wine and stunning architecture. The historic Ribeira district, with its cobbled streets and colorful houses, is a must-see. As a librarian, don’t miss the Livraria Lello, one of the most beautiful bookstores in the world. Tickets are well worth the history and tour.

Or visit the iconic Dom Luís I Bridge, for spectacular views of the Douro River. Of course, no visit to Porto is complete without a tour of the port wine cellars in Vila Nova de Gaia.  Here you can learn about and taste the city’s famous export – Cheers!

Sintra
Located just a short drive from Lisbon, Sintra is a fairy-tale town nestled in the hills of the Serra de Sintra. It’s home to some of Portugal’s most stunning palaces and gardens, including the colorful National Palace of Pena. This palace looks like something out of a storybook.

The Moorish Castle, with its breathtaking views, and the mysterious Quinta da Regaleira, with its gardens and tunnels, are must-visits. Sintra’s blend of natural beauty and architectural wonders makes it one of Portugal’s most magical destinations.

Hiking
Portugal’s diverse landscapes offer excellent hiking trails for nature lovers. The Rota Vicentina, located in the southwestern Alentejo and Algarve regions, is one of the most beautiful coastal trails in Europe.

The trail offers a mix of rugged cliffs, sandy beaches, and quaint fishing villages. The Fisherman’s Trail, in particular, is a favorite among hikers for its stunning ocean views and challenging terrain.

Peneda-Gerês National Park, Portugal’s only national park, is a paradise for hikers. Located in the northern part of the country, the park features lush forests, crystal-clear rivers, and ancient stone villages. Take your pick in any of Portugal’s many cities to enjoy nature and get your heart pumping.

Museums and Churches

Finally, Portugal’s many museums and ancient churches are a must see for your travel agenda. Carmo Archaeological Museum is situated in the ruins of the old Church of Santa Maria do Carm. This church was founded in 1389 by D. Nuno Alvares Pereira.

While in Lisbon don’t miss the most ornate church ever seen, Igreja de Sao Rogue. With its gilded interiors and opulent chapels, every turn is full of history and a great photo opportunity.

Whether you’re a nature lover or seasoned tourist, Portugal is a European location not to be missed this year.

For more travel inspiration check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser career Family Happiness Health kathyhusser Librarian & Entrepreneurship Library Leadership work

Let Things Go

"Be wary of Negative People..."

I had to share the latest book I read, “How to Let Things Go, 99 Tips…” by Shunmyo Mansuno. Simple and valuable nuggets I found helpful to get us through challenging and good times.

Character

The way you handle difficult people show a great deal about your character and value system. Do you let the little things get to you or worry a lot? If you tend to focus on what “can go wrong,” vs. allowing life to happen, listen up.  Mansuno, who is also a Buddhist Monk, provides reminders on “…relinquishing anxiety, impatience, and anger.”

You are in control of your own emotions and the reaction to personal situations, nothing else. If worry about every scenario that “could happen,” you’re wasting valuable energy.

Let life happen, but be smart about it. Suggestions include, “moderating your expectations.”  Not everything will go your way in life. So be humble, and let me say that again, just be humble.

Social Media

What you see on social media is the 2%-5% of the “great” that is happening in people’s lives. The author suggests that people knowing about 50% (or even 30%) is a healthy way to live.  Keep your life private for peace of mind.

We don’t need to know everything, and it keeps the pressure off of you to be “picture perfect.”  Everyone has something they are dealing with, that we don’t know about it.  And that’s just fine, and it’s a healthy way to go through life.

Accountability

Finally, do what you’ll say you are going to do.  “Don’t push things off until tomorrow,” we’re reminded.  You can tell a person’s true intentions by what “they do” not what they say. So just do it, and live your life with integrity and accountability.

That also goes for taking responsibility when things don’t work out, or you make a mistake. We learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, always.

And surrounding yourself with people that lift you up and support you will help you all through life.  As the authors reminds us, “Be wary of negative people.”  Positivity and kindness will be habits for life to help during the bad times and nurture you in good times.

So, what is your “go to” to help others navigate this changing world?

For more living well, tips check out my website: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser careertips Happiness Health holidays kathyhusser Librarian & Entrepreneurship work

Selfcare for 2025

Sunflower from my garden this spring.
A bright sunflower growing in my front yard garden.

As 2025 begins, it’s an ideal time for selfceare that will help you lead a healthier, more balanced life. Rather than making drastic changes that might be hard to sustain, focus on small habits that can make a big impact over time. Here are some tips to start the new year off right with a focus on health and personal growth.

Prioritize Your Health

Good health is the foundation for a successful year. Begin by evaluating your current habits and identifying areas for improvement. Simple changes like eating more fruits and vegetables, drinking more water, and getting enough sleep can improve your well-being. Regular exercise is also essential; it doesn’t have to be intense. Activities like walking, yoga, or swimming can help keep you active while also being enjoyable and stress-free.

Engage in Stress-Free Activities

Managing stress is key to maintaining both mental and physical health. Start by incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. These simple habits can help reduce stressand promote a sense of calm.

Additionally, consider hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or playing an instrument, have some fun!  These activities provide a creative outlet and a break from the pressures of daily life. Spending time in nature is another great way to de-stress. Studies have shown that even a short walk in a park can reduce anxiety and boost your mood.

Focus on Personal Growth

The new year is a great time to set goals for personal development. Start by reflecting on the past year and identifying areas where you’d like to grow. This could be learning a new skill, improving your time management, or working on your emotional intelligence. Setting realistic, achievable goals is important; break them down into smaller steps to make them more manageable.

Reading is another powerful tool for personal growth. Choose books that inspire you, challenge your thinking, or teach you something new. Journaling is also a valuable practice.  Writing down your thoughts, goals, and reflections can help clarify your intentions and track your progress throughout the year.

Starting the new year off right doesn’t mean making drastic changes overnight. By focusing on your health, engaging in stress-free activities, and setting achievable goals for personal growth, you can create a foundation for a happier, healthier year ahead. Remember, progress is made through consistent, small steps, so be kind to yourself and enjoy the journey.

For more living well tips check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser career Family Happiness Health holidays kathyhusser work

Holiday Recipes

Have an agenda and your goals will be accomplished
Have a plan and keep refining for success.

Holiday recipes will not be the same as the “recipes” I shared for the Thanksgiving holiday. These recipes are how to celebrate the holidays to bring you joy this year and next. Here are a few ideas to make this holiday season shine!

Work Reflection

Reflecting on the past year during this time brings great comfort and clarification of the past 11 to 12 months.  What work goals did you achieve?  What new goals for your career will you begin?  Think about the changes in your job and home life you had this year; was it beneficial? Out of your control?  This is the time to set your path on what you’ll be focusing on for 2025 in your career.

Relationships

Relationships, like life, are always changing. What relationships would you like to nurture next year or pull away from?  As you grow, your relationships will change with you as your boundaries grow and are defined.

When I was a mom with your kids, my circle of friends were other moms from our play group. As my children grew, my friendships changed too. Work relationships and my friends from the gym become my focus, as my kids gained their own circle of friends. Getting out there making new friends feels good and is healthy.

Health

Health and wellness are always important, so a recipe for success always starts with your self-care first.  Look at your nutrition, physical exercise, and mindset to create a path to wellness. Stress can be the biggest obstacle to positive mental and physical fitness. Your mind can make or break you, so meditation and taking time for yourself is important for a healthy outlook. A 15- minute walk after dinner or before you set off for work in the morning helps clear your mind.

There is no tried and true path for a happy life, but there are “recipes” to help you learn, grow, and thrive every year. Taking this time during the holidays to re-evaluate habits in your life that need focus will help.  Life is about change, and I hope yours is positive and productive.

For more living well, tips check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser Family Happiness Health kathyhusser

Thanksgiving Recipes

Sunflower from my garden this spring.
A bright sunflower growing in my front yard garden.

Thanksgiving is a time to come together as a family whether with loved ones or friends to celebrate. What better way to bring people together than a shared meal on a special day.  Here are some of my favorite recipes for a traditional Thanksgiving you might like to make and share.

GRANDMA THELMA’S CORNBREAD STUFFING

I like turkey, but I love the Grandma Thelma’s Southern Cornbread Stuffing.  This “dressing” goes along with my roasted wing and freezing very well too.

  • 1/2- pound butter – divided
  • 1 Tablespoon onion powder
  • 1 ½cups chopped celery
  • 9cups prepared day old cornbread (double this recipe or use 4 boxes of Jiffy Mix)
  • 4 slices of day-old bread, (OR bagels, buns, whatever you have on hand)
  • 1 Tablespoon poultry seasoning
  • 1 cup dried cranberries
  • 1 cup chopped pecans
  • 2eggs, beaten
  • 2cups chicken stock – divided
  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Butter one 2- quart casserole dish.
  2. In a sauté pan, cook onion powder and celery in 4 Tablespoons of butter until soft and add 1 cup of stock. Simmer for 10 minutes.
  3. In a mixing bowl, combine cooled celery mixture, cornbread crumbled, and bread torn into bite size pieces, poultry seasoning, eggs, pecans, cranberries, and remaining cup of chicken stock. Mix well and add to buttered casserole dish. (Mixture will be “wet” when placed in dish to bake.)
  4. Dot top of stuffing mixture with remaining butter (about ¼ pound.)
  5. Bake for 1 hour at 325 degrees F or until internal temperature reaches 165 degrees F and edges are golden brown.

Serve with turkey, pork chops, or BBQ chicken! Freezes up to 2 months wrapped tightly in foil.

I feel every Thanksgiving needs carbs with turkey dinner. But some folks like other Thanksgiving traditions at their gathering. But one if for sure, pie is a universal dessert which makes everyone happy.

PIES

For your favorite dessert make a homemade pumpkin pie or even better a pumpkin cheesecake (for the calcium.)

KATHY’S PUMPKIN PIE

  • 1 (9 or 10 inch) unbaked deep-dish pie crust
  • 1cup white sugar
  • 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ¾ teaspoon ground ginger
  • ½ teaspoon ground cloves
  • 2 large eggs – beaten
  • 1 (15 ounce) can LIBBY’S® 100% Pure Pumpkin

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).

  • Combine sugar, cinnamon, salt, ginger, and cloves in small bowl. Beat eggs lightly in large bowl. Stir in pumpkin and sugar-spice mixture. Gradually stir in evaporated milk. Pour into pie shell.
  • Bake in the preheated oven for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) and continue to bake until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean, 40 to 55 more minutes. Remove from the oven and set on a wire rack to cool to room temperature.
  • Serve cooled pie immediately or refrigerate until ready to serve. (Do not freeze as this will cause the crust to separate from the filling.)

Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and restful holiday.  Bon Appetit!

For more holiday inspiration check out: KathyHusserTempe.com

Categories
#kathyhusser career careertips Happiness hr kathyhusser Library Leadership work

It’s Not You

Yellowstone Lake - Nature is rejuvenating
Wishing you calm and happiness this season

After reading Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s new book, “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People,” I had to share. This book is life affirming if you need to understand why “bad things” happen to you and motivators of narcissists. Dr. Durvasula also provides extensive strategies for healing and dealing with these highly manipulative and vengeful people.

Who Are They? 

We don’t know why people act the way they do to hurt others. It’s a diagnosed personality disorder that is finally getting the attention it needs. The definition of a narcissistic goes beyond just wanting their way all the time or being powerful.  It’s about people you have in your life, that abuse and shift blame by gaslighting, manipulating, and lying without remorse.

“Nothing is ever their responsibility or their fault because for a narcissistic person to take responsibility or accept blame means having to accept that they are accountable and imperfect.”

There are varying levels of abusive behaviors outlined, some classified as “malignant narcissists.”

They malign people publicly, or harm their reputations. They are highly manipulative, transactional, and judge everyone based on how useful they are – whether for power, profits, pleasure, or validation. In the simplest framing, the malignant narcissist is a bully, mean and menacing…”

You will recognize the examples used in your own family or workplace relationships. You will also understand how often these behaviors happen and go unchecked in society. The focus is never really on the narcissistic, but more on the actions of the victims being abused.  Almost as if the victim has something wrong with them, despite the facts not adding up from narcissist’s manipulated account.

How Does It Happen?

If you are in an abusive relationship, the obvious answer is to leave. But it’s not always that simple. Dr. Durvasula provides examples where it’s just not possible to leave a job, marriage or other important relationship despite abuse. The victim talks themselves out of it, thinks THEY are the reason that these “bad things” are happening.

Victims routinely believe the manufactured and false narratives about what is taking place due to other silent and compliant people.  It boils down to trust. When those closest to you break that trust and know what’s really going on but do nothing, that’s your truth.

“In other words, narcissistic people make you feel small so they can feel safe.” 

These narcissists get something from their victims while “love bombing,” charming them, and prioritizing the relationship.  When the victim realizes what is actually going on and sets boundaries and reveals the truth, all hell breaks loose.  

“Hell, really hath no fury like a narcissist scorned. Their vindictive behavior may range from spreading damaging workplace gossip” to other more harmful and life threating outcomes.

Be warned, that stalking and public humiliation of their victims is quite commonplace for these individuals. Their tactics escalate when their victims pull away or start understanding the truth about past events. 

How to Protect Yourself 

There are many strategies discussed in the book to combat DARVO, or the common methods narcissists use.  (That’s a very useful chapter.) You should also try to distance yourself spiritually or physically from your abuser(s.) If you must stay in a relationship for work or family reasons, sound strategies are provided. These will help you heal and learn to deal with these negative people. As the author states, you will be better informed the next time you come across these individuals. And you most definitely will!

The healing that takes place when you know you’re not the crazy one is incredible. Narcissist behaviors happen daily to so many of us, but now you have a voice…an authentic voice.