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#kathyhusser career Health kathyhusser Librarian & Entrepreneurship library books

The Good Life

I just finished a new library book focused on happiness; The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Two doctors relate through short stories the simple ways to increase your happiness, based on an 80-year scientific Harvard study. Here are the simple, proven ways to find happiness in your life every day.

Increase Positive Relationships

It goes without saying, that when you feel good physically, you feel good mentally. You need to increase the frequency and quality of the positive relationships in your life to be happy.  It doesn’t have to be friends or family either that make you happy.

The authors relate the positive interaction with a bus driver who makes your commute easier daily. Or how about the teacher who helps your child overcome learning obstacles, which helps you and your family. When you interact and connect with others that “lift you up,” your happiness increases.

Get Rid of Distractions

A distracted mind is unhealthy for your mental well-being and physical health. For example, have you ever worried so much about something that has never happened? You wasted time and energy for nothing. The authors suggest keep your focus by clearing your mind of past mistakes and future worries with meditation.

Meditation calms your heart rate, breathing, and allows your mind to focus on the present and to be in the moment. Being in nature helps with focus as does removing yourself from negative people. (An overlap from the first point made about increasing your quality relationships.) The authors remind us that the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Social Media Engagement

Finally, the authors don’t dismiss social media, but rather supply the research to back up the positive engagement of online platforms. The 2020 pandemic is a perfect example of the damaging social isolation we all experienced.

When we lack the social (in person) interaction with others it is damaging to our well-being. Studies have proven (in Norway) that when children engaged on social media they were happier. This versus just scrolling through and “liking” a post. Social engagement even online benefits your health and happiness for all ages.

Simple but proven ways to keep your mind and relationships healthy and active throughout your life. Finally, staying curious and continuing to learn is a simple way to be happy, no matter your age. Money does not make you happy, but being grateful does. The insights in Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz’s book showed me how happy I really am too!

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career Health Library Jobs Library Leadership work

Selling Skills

Selling Skills

Let’s face it, we don’t like being sold anything, ever.  But we all sell something, every day whether we realize it or not.  Do you know how those selling skills will help you in everyday life? Here are ways to influence to create solutions and harmony in your life.

Family

Even if you are not a parent, you have parents, siblings, or family. In life we enjoy getting our way. Whether it’s family gatherings, vacations, or just getting the kids up in the morning. The key to selling your “idea” is to understand, that people “buy” or listen to likable people.

That’s why the old saying, “you get more with honey than vinegar” applies here. Build your case in a positive manner. Remember, the mantra, “What’s in it for me…” You need to “sell” your idea as a benefit to the other person. The kids will get pancakes if they get up right now for school. The vacation to Hawaii, rather than Colorado, will enable you a warm, sunny getaway during the winter. Remember “WIIFM,” and think what the other person really wants or how they benefit.

Buyers and Their Emotions

As a buyer, or the receiving end of a transactions, did you know you “buy” based on your emotions? We all buy based on feelings and justify the transaction based on logical information afterwards. Here me out and think about your last purchase. Did you really “need” that new outfit? Does your kid “need” or “want” those new shoes, and why? The type of clothing and shoes purchased will be based on trends or what all the other kids are wearing.

Understanding your emotions before you buy something is important, because the salesperson will want to know your feelings. Asking questions to understand what you are looking for or why you need something is Selling 101. Sharing stories to gather information will also help understand your motivation as a buyer. Think about how many times you’ve said, “I’m just looking.” I say it all the time. But when I’m ready to decide, I need that person’s expertise and knowledge to make my purchase.

Trust is Crucial

Finally, having the support after the sale is just as important as the transaction itself. Going back to the kids in the morning and pancakes for breakfast. If the kids get up when you ask them, brush their teeth, then you’d better follow through with pancakes! Trust is the number one reason someone will “buy.”

This trust factor transcends not only accountability but doing what you say you’ll do. But trusting in the follow up conversation if you really have something that solves a problem. Trust and a solid relationship with family, products, or companies all comes from the outcomes and support after the transaction. The ultimate goal is for you to be happy and satisfied with what transpired.

Selling happens every day in our lives and being aware how we “buy” is helpful in everyday life.

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career Health hr Librarian & Entrepreneurship Library Jobs Library Leadership work

Listening is Important

Listening skills are probably the most important skill behind reading. Learning to listen, and actively hear what is said is also essential. Below are steps to take if you need help listening to what people REALLY say to you.

Active Listening

Active listening is hearing the other person for understanding. However, most of us listen to be able to react or frame a response quickly. Don’t do that!  Don’t listen for yourself to answer, listen to understand. You will gain far more insight into your speaker, by letting them talk. Hear what words they choose and how they say those words. Active listening takes effort, but you learn far more about what’s said when you are engaged and hearing the other person.

Body language

So, you’re probably thinking, but I’m on the phone, and can’t “see” my speaker. But you can! Listen for inflection, tone, and the speed of the speaker’s speech. Usually, someone upset or in “fight mode” will speak quickly and emotionally. Someone calm and measured in their speech is under control of their emotions. When you are at work, even remotely, you can listen and pick up ques in the person’s speech.

A rational speaker is usually easier to understand motive, even over a phone call. Body language goes beyond “seeing” the speaker but again actively listening to “how” the speaker is engaging with you.

Responding After Listening

You are now asking, so when DO I need to respond? If you have an upset friend and listening to them about a bad experience, sometimes never. No response is a response in this type of situation. As humans, we want to solve problems, but sometimes it’s best to just listen. Listening with an open mind and heart to fully understand the other person takes a lot of effort.

And sometimes you might never understand the person’s motives or true feelings, but you were there for them. Sometimes just being a friend and confidante is all that is needed in the moment, and active listening is key.

Practice makes permanent, so try just listening for a change. Don’t interrupt and truly listen to the other person on the phone, on Zoom, or sitting with you. The more you practice actively listening, reading body language, and understanding your listener the better you become.

For more living well tips check out my website: KathyHusserTempe.com

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career Health Librarian & Entrepreneurship

2023 New Year Resolutions

With a new year right around the corner, will you consider your 2023 resolutions? Have you struggled in years past to make positive changes? You might need a new perspective to succeed with your New Year’s resolutions for 2023 and here’s how.

Habits take time

If you want to change a habit, don’t identify it as “good” or “bad.” Humans are creatures of habit and to change a habit you need to create another habit or routine instead. The Research supports motivating a habit change, such as losing weight, as fairly straight forward. Changing your routine to provide your body a different rewarding habit sounds simple but takes patience and time.

Another strategy is to visualize your successful habit change, so your new resolution becomes a matter of “practiced self-control.” The theory states that self-control, like muscle memory, becomes easier with practice. This works for me, but not everyone has a habit that can be changed with self-control and visualization.

Provide Physical Reminders

The first step in changing a bad habit according to The American Heart Association is recognizing what cues lead you to that pattern. Once you know what the trigger for overeating is for example, then replace that habit with a new positive habit.  You might consider taking a walk after lunch. Chewing gum after dinner or walking the dog, is a different cue to signal your need to stop eating.

You will need to continue this change in your routine to succeed in your resolution for at least 8-9 weeks. Two months is the approximate time it takes for the new habit to take hold in your mind.

You might see positive results, which further encourages your new habit.  This is also the reason why many resolutions falter in early February. People don’t give themselves enough time for the habit to take hold and create change in their behaviors.

Think About Lasting Results

Finally, you need to consider the long-term effects of your new habits and changes.  It took you more than a month to develop the habit you are resolving to change. Give yourself the grace and time to achieve and make that change.

A recent survey discovered 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolution goals in February. You might want to gain the support of family or a colleague, so you are also accountable for lasting results.

Change is growth and very doable if you make the right decisions and change the habits holding you back.

For more life well topics check out my website: KathyHusserTempe.com

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career Health

Last Minute Gifts

Do you feel like gift giving and the holidays have taken on a whole new life of their own recently?  During October, I saw many Christmas displays full of gifts and decorations, but Halloween hadn’t even been celebrated! Here are three ways to make your holiday gifts more meaningful this year without buying stuff.

Give Experiences

Enjoying an experience with a dear friend, colleague, or your family is my first choice when thinking of gift giving. Something as simple as driving to a friend’s home and enjoying lunch together. Having a heartfelt conversation with your parents or a trusted colleague, seems so simple, but how often does it happen?

Science has proven that personal connections with those we love and care about provides us health benefits. Friendships and positive relationships enrich our lives on many levels, so take advantage of the holidays to show you care.

Give Your Time

I’ve written about volunteering before and can’t stress enough what you receive when you volunteer. Donating time to your community is a service that keeps giving throughout the year.  I’ve donated my time to local art organizations and events. Having a common goal with these groups connects you to your community.

I’ve donated to animal rescues in my father’s name, since we both love helping animals find their forever homes. Dad still talks about it being the best gift ever! Give your time to assist with a shelter’s website, an adoption event, or fundraise for larger projects and supplies.  The sky’s the limit, and you feel so good after volunteering!

No Gifts Rule

The final option is something I use with my husband and very close friends, and that is “no gifts please.” We just don’t exchange gifts, period. The “no gift rule” is something I’ve used during many anniversaries, birthdays, and Christmases. No gifts, just re-enforces the other two options highlighted earlier.

I love to give my time to these very special people and nonprofit agencies. These are “my tribe,” who have given me so much over the years. My gifts are the memories of a special meal together or reminiscing during a walk around the park. Time together to make new memories is our gift to one another.

You should try something new this year. You might be surprised how the pressure to the find the “perfect gift” has been lifted for both of you. If you bring up one of these gift ideas, you might spark a new tradition this holiday season.

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career Health

Holiday Season

During the holiday season, I wonder why I sometimes feel a little blue or sad during this time of year? I’ve come to understand why the holidays bring many different emotions and how to help myself feel better. Read on for tips if you are feeling a bit melancholy this holiday season.

Change is Hard

Change is hard for some, especially if your mind is processing a change as “negative” rather than more growth oriented.  For some, their parents are aging, and daily life is more difficult. Science has proven seniors tend to get depressed, especially during the holidays.   Being alone, memories of “what was,” and realizing past choices have affected their wellbeing play a part in mental health.

You need to continue to be active mentally as well as physically. Remaining fit with puzzles or games to keep your mental agility in tip top shape. Even a daily walk for 30 minutes has proven to keep your flexibility and mobility in best form. I am learning these two important lessons from my parents. Understanding what needs to be done now, for the future is a healthy start.

Traditions Equal Memories

The holidays are a time for family traditions, and some are not the same as time marches on. As your children grow up and have families of their own, new traditions also bring up memories of times past.

Making new traditions now with your family is the best way to feel happier and accept the new memories. Again, this might take a few years to work out your feelings of acceptance. Give yourself time and grace to make new memories and try out new holiday traditions that work for your family.

Patience

Lastly, we need to be patient and accept things will never be the same. The pandemic has changed many holiday activities we enjoyed in years past. My parents and kids are older, so priorities have also changed.

Having patience to accept that we have our health and our love to keep us strong into 2023 keeps me grounded in a positive mindset. Remembering these should help make you happier and more accepting of changes.

If I need a reminder, I’ll re-read this article and reflect on my blessings. Happy Holidays, and hope you enjoy new traditions and memories this year!

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Health

Rethinking Traditional Thanksgiving

Do you and your family and friends gather for a traditional Thanksgiving?  What does traditional mean these days during the holidays? Here are some traditions the media provides and how to rethink what “tradition” means this year for our planet.

Turkey at Thanksgiving

We have all endured high food prices with inflation this year. We are paying 30, 40 and sometimes 50% more for the same products this year!  The average turkey this year will cost about $1.99 per pound, up 73% from last year. Instead of turkey, does your family enjoy other main courses?

Consider lower cost cuts of meat or vegan options which also help the environment and our climate crisis. Have you considered enjoying vegetarian sides without a main dish protein?  A recent study in the United Kingdom states every meal without meat you save about 30% on your grocery bill. The ethical reasons to eat vegan are also important. Just consider the lasting effect for our children and grandchildren when you pass on turkey this year.

Black Friday

Shopping has changed over the years. I remember standing in line to buy a coveted gaming system or the “must have” toy for my kids.  Deals for the holidays now start as early as October and feeds into society’s need for consumption.

I do not stand in line for anything anymore, especially for retailers to take my money. I think before I purchase. Again, consider the environment and the actual usefulness of a product before you buy it. Think about upcycling items to prolong their use. Finally, think about the money you save when you stop overspending and buying needlessly every holiday.

Time with Family

The holidays, especially Thanksgiving, is a time to be with your family. I’m thinking the Hallmark movie with the happy ending. But, like real life, families are complicated on so many levels. You should never feel pressured to be with someone you don’t feel comfortable with, family or not.

You need to enjoy your holiday while still having boundaries especially from those who love you. So, what I’m saying is, it’s okay if you shake things up and try something new this year.  Have Thanksgiving dinner at lunch time this year.

If the weather permits have your meal outside on the patio or better yet at a close friend’s home.  If there is a neighbor that is alone this year, invite them to enjoy your celebration. The holidays should bring peace and comfort to you, not stress and chaos.

Reach out and enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving this year!

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career Health

Major Life Changes

The pandemic has forced some people to re-evaluate not only their life but their livelihoods, and values as well. Would you like to change careers or just make a major adjustment in your life? Read on for tips on how to ease into making major changes and how to recognize signs to start now.

How Important Is It?

According to James Clear, major changes in life are determined by your attitude and the importance placed on the change. For some people having a child or changing jobs is a huge decision. While others don’t put as much importance on those factors in life.  It really depends on you, your partner, and your unique circumstances.

How that change will affect you and your family is also another overriding factor influencing the decision to make a change.  A child in the family is not only a time and energy commitment but it’s also very expensive. You’ll need a safe home, financial security, and a means to raise the child. All these factors when examined might scare some would-be parents. For others, having a new baby is more of an emotional decision.

When is the Right Time

How do you know if change needs to happen in your life?  There are a few red flags to look out for especially when others are affected in your circle. Is your mental and physical health in decline, due to work life balance?  Do you feel “stuck” with no place to go?  Are you picking up detrimental habits that are damaging your health? Excessive alcohol use, overeating, or overspending are a few habits that come to mind.

If you answer “Yes,” to one of these questions, it might be time to re-evaluate what’s causing the negative patterns.   Normally, if a two-week, relaxing vacation or change of scenery does not help, a major shift needs to occur.

How to Start

Start off by acknowledging your feelings, good and bad. Talk with your partner, parent, or a trusted person to discuss your situation. Break down what’s happening in more manageable objectives. Always remain positive, even if the situation looks bleak. Staying calm, working on a solution, and having a goal starts the process. Working towards the solution and outcome will gradually help you feel more in control and better about the situation.

But understand, major changes take time and energy to work through the entire process. Sometimes just acknowledging you need “something” different is enough for some folks to feel better. Hope this finds you well!

Check out my personal website for more living well articles.

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Health Travel

Best Fall Hikes

As the leaves change and temperatures get cooler, what better way to celebrate than with a weekend fall hike. Here are the best areas for fall hikes to suit any experience level.  Give yourself a boost of autumn spirit and enjoy the great outdoors this autumn.

New England 

New England has such diverse landscape, starting in Maine (one of my “bucket list” vacations) and running the length of Connecticut. The four states in between are Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Rhode Island. Every state offers up moderate to strenuous hikes near water or wilderness depending on your endurance.

An easy to moderate hike in Massachusetts loved by artists and nature lovers is Bish Bash Falls. Two miles to enjoy scenery and the biggest waterfall in the state! For a more challenging hike, Mount Mansfield in Vermont will give you breathtaking views near Lake Chaplain. The 6-mile roundtrip hike has been known to have the very best views in the state. With the elevation change be prepared with warmer clothes as you reach the summit and colder temperatures.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park

The Great Smoky Mountains have an abundance of wilderness trails mixed with amenities to make your fall excursion perfect for any age. Trails range from level walking paths to bike and board trails for all ages. There are also nature walks, to help you and your family identify plants and the surrounding wildlife easily. Finally, due to the elevation of the park, your hike can show you some of the best fall foliage near the East Cost of the United States.

Southwest Arizona

If you live in the southwestern region of the United States, you have many choices to experience the changing leaves. Enjoying the crisp fall weather is only a short drive away to northern Arizona. Sedona, Flagstaff and along the Mogollon Rim all have the advantage of being close the urban center of Phoenix. These towns offer some of the best nature walks with only a two-hour drive north.

Humphrey’s Peak Trail is considered an easy 4.5-mile hike reaching an elevation gain of about 3500 feet.  The highest point of the peak is 12,000 feet, so be aware of the elevation change and plan accordingly. Temperatures will also be much cooler when you reach the summit so for all hikes pack warm clothing and the appropriate amount of water and food.

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career Health

Happiness Hacks

After the past two years, we are all looking for happiness and contentment in our “post pandemic” lives. Read on for simple happiness hacks that are proven to work to bring joy into your life.

Social Connections

Creating social connections and other positive habits, research has shown, rewires your brain toward positivity and success.  Known as positive intelligence, the research points to the happiness and consistent habits leading you toward successful outcomes.

It can be as simple as journaling three happy thoughts of gratitude daily. In addition, reaching out to your friends and family to find support has shown to improve happiness levels. Give it a try for a few weeks and see the results. Think what you could gain.

Gratitude

This leads to the next hack and that is showing gratitude daily. No matter your circumstances, you have reasons to be grateful. After reading, Thank and Grow Rich from an article I read in Elephant Journal, my life was changed. This simple exercise of looking for the positive and being grateful every day is easy to make a habit.

The book is filled with funny, well-written, real-life examples of the world opening up when you show gratitude. Just like the saying goes, “Open yourself up and the world provides.” (Or something like that.) But you get the idea.

In addition, the book, “The Secret” is also written along those same lines. While this book is more spiritual in nature, the message is the same. You need to be grateful and present by asking for what you want, and it comes to you. The opportunities present themselves to you to fulfill those needs.

Resilience

Finally, another common aspect of happiness is resilience. If nothing else, the pandemic has given us skills to succeed in the face of uncertainty. These skills build a resilient mind, body, and drive you to keep moving forward. Finally, resilient people are happier, more confident and see the positive even during difficult challenges.

Furthermore, it has been proven, no matter your social standing or economic means. It’s like your muscles, to build them up, you need to use them daily! You need to build a resilient attitude, then you will lead a happier and more content life.

Give a few of the happiness hacks a try and practice them daily. You will be glad you did!

More living well tips at be found on my personal website: KathyHusserTempe.com