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Power of Habits

 

Starting on a journey of positive change often centers on forming and sticking to habits. Habits, ingrained routines of behavior, have a profound impact on our daily lives. They influence everything from our productivity to our physical and overall mental well-being. Understanding the science behind habits and implementing effective strategies can be the key to transforming harmful patterns into positive behaviors.

The Science Behind Habits

Habits are deeply rooted in neurological patterns. As we repeat a behavior, our brain forms neural pathways that make the action more automatic over time. This inherent ability of our brains to create habits can be harnessed for positive change. Rather than viewing habits as obstacles, we can leverage the brain’s ability to establish routines that align with our goals.

Identify the Trigger

To change a bad habit, start by identifying the trigger that begins the behavior. Whether it’s stress, boredom, or a specific environment, recognizing the cue that prompts the habit is crucial. Understanding the trigger allows you to implement strategies to interrupt the automatic response and replace it with a positive alternative.

Set Clear and Achievable Goals

Define clear and achievable goals that align with the positive change you want to make. Break down larger objectives into smaller, manageable steps. This not only makes the process less overwhelming but also provides a sense of accomplishment with each milestone. You are reinforcing the formation of a new, positive habit!

Replace with a Positive Behavior

Rather than focusing solely on eliminating a bad habit, redirect your energy toward replacing it with a positive behavior. If your goal is to reduce screen time, replace the habit of scrolling through your phone with a positive behavior. Activities like reading a book or practicing relaxation techniques fit the bill better just before bedtime. The key is to substitute the undesirable action with a healthier alternative.

Utilize the Power of Consistency

Consistency is the bedrock of habit formation. Repetition is what reinforces neural pathways, making a behavior more automatic. Commit to practicing the positive behavior consistently, even when faced with setbacks. Over time, this repetition strengthens the new habit, making it a natural part of your routine.

Accountability and Support

Share your goals with a friend, family member, or a mentor who can provide encouragement and hold you accountable. Having a support system enhances motivation and increases the likelihood of successfully transforming a bad habit. Celebrate achievements together and learn from challenges as a team.

The power of habits lies in their ability to shape our lives. By understanding the science behind habits and implementing strategic approaches, you can change harmful behaviors into positive, life-affirming habits.

Identify triggers, set achievable goals, replace negative behaviors with positive ones, embrace consistency, and seek support. Through this approach, you will create lasting, positive changes that contribute to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.

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Caring for Parents

Caring for aging parents is a journey that many of us take on expectedly. As our loved ones enter the later stages of their lives our own lives change. While it is an opportunity to give back and express our gratitude, it is not without its share of challenges. As I navigate through caregiving, I have come to realize the emotional toll it takes. I also discovered the profound rewards that come with caring for aging parents.

Life Balance

One of the most significant challenges I encountered is balancing my life and responsibilities with the needs of my parents. The demands of work, raising a family, and managing personal affairs can sometimes clash. With the time and energy required to ensure the well-being of my parents it’s hard to think of yourself.

It often feels like a juggling act, constantly trying to find a delicate balance. The give and take of caregiving and maintaining “normalcy” in my own life is tough. It is a delicate dance of making sacrifices, setting boundaries, and seeking support. Whether that support is from other family members or external resources to share the load, every bit helps.

Emotional Challenges

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Emotionally, caring for aging parents can be a rollercoaster ride. Witnessing the physical and mental decline of the ones who once cared for you can be heart-wrenching. It is a reminder of their mortality and our own vulnerability. Feelings of guilt, frustration, and helplessness may come up.

As you grapple with the reality of their changing needs and our own limitations, you get sad. Yet, in the midst of these challenging emotions, there is also an opportunity for profound growth, empathy, and connection. It is a time to cherish the precious moments, celebrate small victories, and deepen your bonds with them every day.

Healthcare Frustrations

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Navigating the healthcare system and ensuring the best possible care for your parents is yet another hurdle. The maze of medical appointments, medications, and complex decisions can be overwhelming. Advocating for their needs, understanding medical jargon, and coordinating with various healthcare professionals can feel like another full-time job. It requires patience, perseverance, and the willingness to become an informed advocate for your loved ones.

However, being an active participant in their healthcare journey allows us to be their voice. You must ensure their needs are met and advocate for the quality of life they deserve. Because no one else will.

Rewards

Photo by Ekaterina Shakharova on Unsplash

Despite the challenges, caring for aging parents also brings immeasurable rewards. It is an opportunity to give back and show gratitude for the love and care provided us throughout our lives. It deepens our understanding of the value of family, love, and the fragility of time. It teaches us resilience, patience, and compassion.

Witnessing the small victories, the moments of joy, and the strength and resilience of people is amazing. It is a testament to the human spirit and the power of love for family and friends.

Caring for aging parents is a journey that tests our limits, challenges our emotions, and stretches our capacity for compassion. It is not an easy path. It is one filled with profound growth and moments of immeasurable grace. As I continue on this journey, I am reminded of this privilege of caring for my parents. It is a gift that I will forever cherish.

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Growing Happier Lives

I just finished a book by Harvard professor Arthur Brooks with insights by Oprah Winfrey. Here are useful nuggets you can use to create a happier life.  See if any of them surprises you.

3 Basic Pillars

The three basic pillars of happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. According to Brooks these “macronutrients” of happiness are scientifically proven by studies and our own life experiences.  Case studies and Brooks’ own family are examples of this principle. Some perceptions from Oprah’s own life also illustrate the importance of each one. The book reveals types of career paths you might have chosen due to one of these areas being out of balance. Whether it’s a job or relationship, you need these three “macronutrients” to feel complete joy.

Your Outlook

Another aspect to being happier, (or less unhappy) is having hope. We all have bad things happen in our lives, even tragic. Your reaction and how you deal with those experiences also play into your happiness.

Brooks explains it like this. “There’s a word for believing you can make things better without distorting reality; not optimism, but hope.” Again, illustrated with life and death examples of crisis and how individuals respond to those events determines levels of happiness. Brooks himself explains, he was not a happy person when starting out in his initial career. I won’t spoil anything for you, but his journey is inspiring.

Spirituality

Call it what you will, but believing in a higher power other than focusing on yourself makes a huge difference. Explained as “meditation” or simple connecting on a transcendental level for peace, this is the third area to explore.

Within you lies the power to create happiness and a happier life, but you must live in love and service. Several other spiritual writings assert what Brooks and Winfrey explain, ways they’ve been able to reach this level of contentment.

Living in love is the key along with these main factors. Healthy and happy relationships with the people we are close too, help us understand the feeling of joy and contentment. Living in gratitude, makes us appreciate the good and bad times in our lives.  So, remember, simple joyful experiences are the best kind and keeps us mindful of the love and happiness in our lives.

Think about the last time you were truly happy and joyful. What were you doing?

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Women’s History Month

March, celebrated globally as Women’s History Month, holds special significance for young women navigating the complexities of modern life. This dedicated month serves as a platform to reflect on achievements, acknowledge challenges, and amplify the voices of women. For young women, Women’s History Month is more than just March; it’s an opportunity for empowerment, inspiration, and collective progress.

Recognition of Achievements

Women’s History Month allows the average young woman to celebrate the progress of those who paved the way before her. It’s a time to honor the trailblazers who shattered glass ceilings, proving that gender should never be a barrier. From women in science and technology to leaders in various fields, these role models inspire young women. Women need to dream big and strive for excellence in their chosen paths.

Acknowledgment of Challenges

While celebrating achievements, March prompts a reflection on the challenges women continue to face today. The average young woman recognizes the importance of recognizing and addressing issues like gender inequality, workplace discrimination, and societal expectations. This awareness fuels a commitment to advocating for change and fostering environments where all women can thrive.

Amplifying Voices

Women’s History Month provides a platform for us all to have our voices heard. It’s a time to share stories, experiences, and perspectives that often go unheard. Social media campaigns, events, and discussions become avenues for women to connect and contribute to the broader conversation about equality.

Fostering Support

This dedicated month fosters a sense of solidarity among young women. It’s a reminder that they are not alone in our journeys. There’s a community of diverse voices sharing similar experiences. Through workshops and public initiatives, women come together to support and learn from each other. This uplifting, continuous action creates networks women can use beyond the month of March.

Personal Growth

Women’s History Month serves as a catalyst for personal growth and empowerment. The average young woman draws inspiration from the stories of resilience, determination, and courage shared by others before her.  Whether it’s learning new skills, pursuing further education, or taking on leadership roles, this time ignites a sense of possibility. The belief that every woman can contribute to positive change.

Reflecting All Women

This time also prompts a deeper reflection on intersectionality. Acknowledging that the experiences of women are shaped by factors such as race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, and more. Women recognize the importance of inclusivity. We all need to strive to provide a narrative that is diverse and representative of all women continually.

Through these lenses, Women’s History Month becomes a dynamic force. We can propel young women toward empowerment, growth, and the pursuit of equality in all aspects of life. We all learn by helping others.

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Setting Healthy Boundries

In our fast-paced and demanding world, self-care and setting healthy boundaries is essential. This practice sets you up for maintaining a happy and joyful life. Establishing boundaries allows us to prioritize our well-being, protect our energy, and create space for self-nurturing activities. By cultivating healthy boundaries, we can enhance our overall quality of life and cultivate a sense of inner peace.

Personal Limits

One fundamental aspect of self-care is recognizing and honoring our personal limits. This involves acknowledging our physical, emotional, and mental capacities and understanding when to say no. It is crucial to listen to our bodies and minds and respond with kindness and compassion. By setting boundaries around our time and energy, we create the opportunity to engage in activities that replenish us.

Whether it’s taking a restorative break, engaging in a hobby, or spending time with loved ones, you need it.  Prioritizing our needs and well-being is not selfish but rather a prerequisite for living a fulfilling and joyful life.

Communication

Communication plays a vital role in establishing healthy boundaries. Clearly and assertively expressing our needs and limitations allows others to understand and respect our boundaries. It is essential to practice effective communication by expressing ourselves honestly.  You also need to be open to listening to the needs of others as well.

By setting clear expectations and boundaries in our relationships, we foster healthier dynamics and promote mutual understanding and respect. Effective communication also helps us navigate any unforeseeable conflicts. This ensures that our boundaries are upheld and our well-being is also prioritized.

Recognizing Energy Drains

Maintaining healthy boundaries also involves recognizing and managing emotional and energetic drains. It is crucial to identify relationships or situations that consistently deplete our energy and create emotional distress. Setting boundaries allows us to protect our emotional well-being and invest energy in relationships and activities that bring us joy.

This may involve creating distance from toxic relationships, limiting exposure to negative influences, seeking support from trusted friends or professionals. For example, I had a job that was truly unhealthy and leaving was the best thing that happened to me.

Foster Positive Relationships

Self-care and healthy boundaries are not about isolation but rather about fostering relationships that align with our values and needs. It is about surrounding ourselves with people who uplift and support us, and engaging in activities that nourish our souls. By nurturing ourselves and setting healthy boundaries, we create the energy to show up fully in relationships, work, and personal pursuits.

It enables us to be more present, engaged, and authentic in all aspects of our lives. Setting boundaries fosters a deeper sense of fulfillment and joy.

Embracing healthy boundaries and practicing self-care are essential components of a happy, joyful life. Be sure to prioritize your well-being, communicate needs, and manage emotional drains you experience.  We all create a foundation for personal growth, contentment, and vibrant relationships when boundaries are respected.

Remember, setting boundaries is an act of self-love and respect. It is empowering all of us to live authentically, cultivate joy, and thrive in all areas of our lives. Live well and enjoy!

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Vision Boards Create Success

What is a vision board?  Create success and achieve your goals this year with a vision board. Read on for three simple steps to make a vision board and have your dreams come true this year.

Visualize Goals

First you need to visualize your goals or what you want out of 2024. Whether it’s a new job, relationship, or home, create a picture in your mind of exactly what that looks like. Remember little details to truly create a vision in your mind’s eye of how achieving your goal would feel.

Next, have at least 3-5 big ideas for the new year. Write down the words that describe those successes and don’t hold back.  Words that come to mind can be fearless, courage, abundance, joy, self-care, so use your imagination.

Illustrate Your Big Ideas

I’m not an artist, so illustrating for me may be different for you. I like to use Pinterest as a very easy way to capture my thoughts and inspiration. Studies have proven if you can visualize your goals, you will increase your chances of achieving them. Digital photos, drawings, doodles, anything that brings your big idea to mind is an “illustration” for your board.

I tend to create simple drawings and also attach photos for inspiration on my vision board. Whatever is easiest, illustrate your ideas so you have a roadmap to your action steps.

Map Out Steps

 

Mapping out specific actions, no matter how small, for each goal is your next step.  For example, if you want to learn Spanish by the end of year, your actions might resemble:

  1. Check out free language resources at the library
  2. Research local teachers or community organizations for classes
  3. Block off time on my weekly calendar for lessons/practice
  4. Book my trip to Mexico for the summer or in 2025
  5. Continue conversational Spanish with my neighbor two nights a week

When goals are written down, visualized and acted on, they are more easily achieved. The vision board for this big idea might include Yucatan travel photos or common conversational phases. Having a goal that is broken down and committed on your calendar is also more likely to be completed by your timeline. This is only one big idea example, so think of more and don’t limit yourself.

The most difficult part of a vision board is deciding what you want from 2024 with so many possibilities today. Don’t limit yourself, and make this new year, a year to remember and celebrate.  Here’s to a happy and healthy 2024 to you and your family and friends!

 

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Themes for the New Year

 

As we start a new year, it’s a perfect time for reflection and renewal. While resolutions abound, certain overarching themes can guide us towards a more fulfilling and purposeful journey in the coming months. Here are three vital themes to remember for the new year.

Mindful Well-Being in 2024

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to neglect our well-being. As we step into the new year, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care and cultivate a mindful approach to health. This includes not only physical wellness but also mental and emotional balance.

Consider incorporating practices such as meditation, regular exercise, and adequate sleep into your routine. These small yet impactful habits can significantly contribute to overall well-being. In a world that often glorifies busyness, valuing moments of rest and self-reflection becomes a cornerstone for a healthier, more resilient you.

Embracing Learning and Resilience

The new year offers a blank slate for personal and professional growth. Embracing a growth mindset involves seeing challenges as opportunities for learning and viewing failures as stepping stones toward success. This approach not only fosters resilience but also fuels a continuous desire for improvement.

Set achievable goals that push your boundaries, both personally and professionally. Whether it’s acquiring a new skill, pursuing further education, or taking on challenging projects, the growth mindset propels you forward. This also fosters a sense of accomplishment and adaptability during unforeseen challenges.

In a rapidly evolving world, the ability to embrace change and learn from experiences is a powerful asset. Cultivating a growth mindset ensures that every encounter contributes to your journey of becoming the best version of yourself. Whether that personal experience is positive or negative, you grow from it.

Nurturing Relationships

In the digital age, genuine connections and meaningful relationships hold incomparable value. As we navigate the new year, prioritize the nurturing of both existing and new connections. Whether it’s strengthening family bonds, fostering friendships, or building professional networks, investing time and energy in relationships enriches our lives.

Take a proactive approach to communication, be present in your interactions, and seek out opportunities for collaboration and shared experiences. These connections not only provide emotional support but also contribute to a sense of belonging and purpose. In a world that can sometimes feel isolated, the power of genuine human connections is a beacon of light. A light guiding us through the challenges and joys of life to be happier.

As we embark on 2024, let mindfulness, growth, and connection be our guiding lights. Prioritizing well-being, adopting a growth mindset, and nurturing relationships pave the way for a year of purpose, resilience, and fulfillment. Here’s to embracing the opportunities that 2024 brings and creating a meaningful tapestry of experiences and growth.

Happy New Year!

Originally published on Elephant Journal

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Weekend in New York

 

Looking for a holiday getaway or a quick trip in January?  A weekend in New York City might fill the bill as long as you dress warm!

Flights

To maximize our budget think about flying into a smaller neighboring airport such as Newark in New Jersey.  Even Long Island Airport in Islip is doable with the train station so close.  Planning your flight midweek or even on a Thursday will help with airfare and might be less crowded.

But even these days, my flights this year have all been full. Be prepared to have extra time checking in at TSA or think about signing up for Pre-Check or Clear to make security lines less of a hassle. (Some credit cards will also reimburse you for these and other services, so check with your card company.)

Sights of NYC

Be sure to secure your hotel or VRBO near a subway or train line. NYC’s mass transit system is one of the best in the United States.  Being within walking distance of Times Square, Central Park, and museums are the best “home bases” for your trip.

Plan your visits along the subway line so you don’t miss out on winter activities in New York. Ice skating at Rockefeller Center and the NYC Rockettes usually have audiences through January.  Don’t forget the standards such as The Metropolitan Museum or Museum of Modern Art for your art and history lovers. Lines might be long at MoMA, so check the website for hours and special events. At night with the Christmas lights is also a site to see and enjoy this time of year.

Food

 Dining options are everywhere in New York. From fast food pizza to fine dining, you will have your pick for any budget. If you’re only in NYC for the weekend, maybe one or two “nice” dinners at an Italian eatery. Then the next day, think about grabbing breakfast (some are still free) at your hotel or café to people watch. Asking the locals (at your activities) is one of the best ways to get reliable local restaurant and eatery recommendations.

Remember to be flexible with your travel companion and plans in general. You might want to think about extending a work trip to enjoy the sights.  More people than ever are traveling and patience is needed to navigate trips these days.

Just enjoy the memories, photos, and last-minute trip flying off to New York.  Travel is the best way to experience new places, people, and cultures…so enjoy!

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New Managers’ Traits

As librarians’ transition into managerial roles, the dynamics of their responsibilities change, a lot. Effective leadership is not merely about overseeing tasks but fostering an environment of growth, collaboration, and achievement. Here are three essential traits for new managers or leader in libraries and other fields.

Communication is Key

At the heart of effective leadership lies the ability to communicate with clarity, empathy, and purpose. New managers must be adept at conveying their ideas, expectations, and feedback in a manner that resonates with diverse team members. Clear communication sets the foundation for a harmonious work environment, reducing misunderstandings and fostering a culture of transparency.

Moreover, an essential aspect of communication is active listening. New leaders should not only express their thoughts but also be attuned to the concerns and perspectives of their team. This two-way communication builds trust and establishes a sense of inclusivity within the team.

In practical terms, this trait involves mastering various communication channels, adapting the message to different audiences, and being open to feedback. By prioritizing effective communication, new managers create a work culture for collaboration, innovation, and psychological safety.

Emotional Intelligence

As leaders navigate the complexities of managing a team, emotional intelligence emerges as a pivotal trait. The ability to understand and manage your emotions while empathizing with others is a hallmark of successful leadership. New managers who possess emotional intelligence can navigate interpersonal relationships, inspiring their teams to perform at their best.

Emotionally intelligent leaders are not only aware of their own feelings but can also read the emotions of their team members. This awareness enables them to tailor their leadership approach, providing support where needed and celebrating successes together. By fostering a positive emotional climate, new managers can enhance team morale and resilience, key factors in achieving long-term success.

Adaptability

In today’s fast-paced work environment, adaptability is a non-negotiable trait for new managers. To navigate change and make informed decisions in uncertain situations, positions a leader as a dynamic force within their organization.

Adaptable leaders instill confidence in their teams by demonstrating a willingness to evolve strategies based on emerging challenges and opportunities. This trait involves a continuous commitment to learning, staying updated on industry trends, and encouraging a culture of agility.

In essence, adaptability enables new managers to steer their teams through uncharted territories, transforming obstacles into stepping stones for growth. By embodying this trait, leaders inspire resilience and creativity, fostering a culture where challenges are viewed as opportunities for improvement.

Finally, effective leadership goes beyond merely overseeing tasks; it involves cultivating an environment where individuals thrive. By prioritizing communication skills, emotional intelligence, and adaptability, new managers can set the stage for both personal and team success.

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Why Love Taylor and Travis

 

In the vast landscape of popular culture, certain figures captivate our attention and hold our fascination. Two who seem to effortlessly command the spotlight are Taylor Swift, the iconic singer-songwriter, and Travis Kelce, the NFL player. What is it about these two seemingly contrasting personalities that ignites our collective obsession?

Taylor Swift: The Evolution of Empowerment

Taylor Swift’s journey from country sweetheart to pop sensation has been nothing short of a cultural phenomenon. Swift’s ability to authentically narrate her personal experiences through music has created an intimate connection with her audience. From teenage love anthems to mature reflections on heartbreak and self-discovery, Swift’s discography resonates across generations.

Her openness about relationships, friendships, and the challenges of fame endears her to fans. She makes them feel like they’re on a journey of self-discovery alongside her.

Additionally, Swift’s skilled use of social media invites fans into her world, fostering a sense of community. Her engagement with fans, candid posts, and witty interactions contribute to the perception that she is not just a megastar.  She is also a relatable individual navigating life’s ups and downs.

Travis Kelce: Beyond the Gridiron

Travis Kelce, known for his exceptional skills on the football field, has transcended the confines of his profession. Beyond his athletic expertise, Kelce’s magnetic personality has made him a favorite in and out of the sports arena. The tight end’s charisma, evident in his touchdown celebrations and post-game interviews, sets him apart. Kelce’s authenticity shines through, showcasing a genuine and approachable side of professional athletes often overlooked by the public.

Kelce’s involvement in philanthropy and community outreach further cements his status as a well-rounded and socially conscious figure. Fans are drawn to his genuine passion for making a positive impact off the field. He creates a deeper connection beyond his achievements in football.

Art Meets Athletics

The convergence of Taylor Swift’s musical prowess and Travis Kelce’s athletic excellence may seem unexpected. However, it underscores a broader truth: our fascination often lies at the crossroads of diverse talents. Swift and Kelce represent more than their respective crafts; they embody resilience, authenticity, and the pursuit of excellence in their chosen fields.

In essence, our obsession with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce is not merely about their talent; it’s a celebration of their humanity. Through vulnerability, relatability, and a commitment to authenticity, these icons become mirrors reflecting our own desires, struggles, and triumphs. In a social media age of curated personas, the genuine nature of Swift and Kelce becomes our beacon. They are guiding our fascination and deepening our connection to their stories with our own.